Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?
Health
services
are necessary for a
society and some private Correct article usage
apply
companies
offer
this
service
by receiving more money from people
for their private service
. Having better quality and being less crowded is its merits and being avilabke
for a specific group of Correct your spelling
available
people
is its demerit, so the advantages of this
private Correct determiner usage
these
companies
are more than its
disadvantages.
These private Correct pronoun usage
their
companies
are suitable for a small portion of people
due to
their high service
costs. Health services
should be the same between rich and poor people
, so it is not fair to have this
kind of companies
which give service
only to rich community. It is argued that skillful
medical staff are more likely to work in public Change the spelling
skilful
companies
which offer
medical service
to Fix the agreement mistake
services
people
for free. This
can be a reason that patients prefer to use services
from public companies
. These public ones are usually supported financially by government
.
Correct article usage
the government
Although
private services
cost more than public ones, their medical service
has more quality. In other words
, they give a
VIP care to their patients and their staff are more responsible. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
use private services
because of its
cost and Correct pronoun usage
their
this
is the reason why these companies
are less crowded and they can offer
a
medical help Correct article usage
apply
easier
with less Rephrase
more easily
preasure
Correct your spelling
pressure
Rephrase
apply
consequently
.
To sum up
, private services
not only give a high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
service
compared to public ones, but also
you do not need to wait for receiving
the Change preposition
to receive
service
due to
being less crowded. By considering these features which private companies
offer
, it has obviously more advantages.Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on
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task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing real-world scenarios where private healthcare has both succeeded and failed would enhance your point.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and fully developed. Some of your arguments, such as why private healthcare is more responsible, need further explanation and support.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Connecting ideas with clearer transitions can make your essay more coherent and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which gives a good overall impression.
task achievement
You successfully address both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare, which exhibits a balanced perspective.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic
IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.
Answer structure for the type of essay
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – advantages
- Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- The main advantage is...
- The disadvantage of this...
- The main benefit...
- Despite these advantages...
- One possible drawback...