IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

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Health
services
Use synonyms
 are necessary for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and some private
companies
Use synonyms
offer
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
service
Use synonyms
 by receiving more money from
people
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 for their private
service
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. Having better quality and being less crowded is its merits and being
avilabke
Correct your spelling
available
 for a specific group of
people
Use synonyms
 is its demerit, so the advantages of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 private
companies
Use synonyms
 are more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 disadvantages. These private
companies
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 are suitable for a small portion of
people
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their high
service
Use synonyms
 costs. Health
services
Use synonyms
 should be the same between rich and poor
people
Use synonyms
, so it is not fair to have
this
Linking Words
 kind of
companies
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 which give
service
Use synonyms
 only to rich community. It is argued that
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
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 medical staff are more likely to work in public
companies
Use synonyms
 which
offer
Use synonyms
 medical
Use synonyms
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
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 to
people
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 for free.
This
Linking Words
 can be a reason that patients prefer to use
services
Use synonyms
 from public
companies
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. These public ones are usually supported financially by
government
Correct article usage
the government
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.
Although
Linking Words
 private
services
Use synonyms
 cost more than public ones, their medical
service
Use synonyms
 has more quality.
In other words
Linking Words
, they give
a
Correct article usage
apply
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VIP care to their patients and their staff are more responsible.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 use private
services
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 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 cost and
this
Linking Words
 is the reason why these
companies
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 are less crowded and they can
offer
Use synonyms
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical help
easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 with less
preasure
Correct your spelling
pressure
Rephrase
apply
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consequently
Linking Words
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, private
services
Use synonyms
 not only give a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
service
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 compared to public ones, but
also
Linking Words
 you do not need to wait
for receiving
Change preposition
to receive
show examples
 the
service
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due to
Linking Words
 being less crowded. By considering these features which private
companies
Use synonyms
offer
Use synonyms
, it has obviously more advantages.

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task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing real-world scenarios where private healthcare has both succeeded and failed would enhance your point.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and fully developed. Some of your arguments, such as why private healthcare is more responsible, need further explanation and support.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Connecting ideas with clearer transitions can make your essay more coherent and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which gives a good overall impression.
task achievement
You successfully address both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare, which exhibits a balanced perspective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
What to do next:
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