Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

Health
services
are necessary for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and some private
companies
offer
this
service
by receiving more money from
people
for their private
service
. Having better quality and being less crowded is its merits and being
avilabke
Correct your spelling
available
for a specific group of
people
is its demerit, so the advantages of
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
private
companies
are more than
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
disadvantages. These private
companies
are suitable for a small portion of
people
due to
their high
service
costs. Health
services
should be the same between rich and poor
people
, so it is not fair to have
this
kind of
companies
which give
service
only to rich community. It is argued that
skillful
Change the spelling
skilful
show examples
medical staff are more likely to work in public
companies
which
offer
medical
service
Fix the agreement mistake
services
show examples
to
people
for free.
This
can be a reason that patients prefer to use
services
from public
companies
. These public ones are usually supported financially by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Although
private
services
cost more than public ones, their medical
service
has more quality.
In other words
, they give
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
VIP care to their patients and their staff are more responsible.
Moreover
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
use private
services
because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
cost and
this
is the reason why these
companies
are less crowded and they can
offer
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical help
easier
Rephrase
more easily
show examples
with less
preasure
Correct your spelling
pressure
Rephrase
apply
show examples
consequently
.
To sum up
, private
services
not only give a
high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
show examples
service
compared to public ones, but
also
you do not need to wait
for receiving
Change preposition
to receive
show examples
the
service
due to
being less crowded. By considering these features which private
companies
offer
, it has obviously more advantages.
Submitted by Sarlakehsan79 on

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task achievement
You should provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, citing real-world scenarios where private healthcare has both succeeded and failed would enhance your point.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are clearly and fully developed. Some of your arguments, such as why private healthcare is more responsible, need further explanation and support.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay. Connecting ideas with clearer transitions can make your essay more coherent and understandable.
coherence cohesion
Check for minor grammatical and spelling errors to improve clarity and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which gives a good overall impression.
task achievement
You successfully address both advantages and disadvantages of private healthcare, which exhibits a balanced perspective.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
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