Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal more money than people in other important professions. Some people think this is fully justified while others think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. H Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions #h

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The debate of the

Use synonyms

professionals

Change the noun form

professional

show examples

sportsmen should earn significantly more than other crucial occupations is continuously addressed. Some would say

that is

Linking Words

fair have to

Unnecessary verb

apply

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a greater reward for

Correct article usage

a masters

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masters

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master

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in a

sport

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sports

show examples

domain,

while

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others

belive

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believe

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it is inequitable.

This

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essay will discuss both arguments and will present in the end my personal view. On

one

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hand, there are not so many individuals top-dog in a certain field. Being the best at something makes you

one

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of a kind and those who train day and night and dedicate their entire life to be on top are entitled to be rewarded

accordingly

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Moreover

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, having

such

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an enormous

prize

Correct your spelling

price

show examples

Remove the comma

apply

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may encourage

competiveness

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competitiveness

and

professionals

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to strike

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apply

show examples

the top of the ladder.

For instance

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, football players are well-known for their

highly

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high

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benefits and teams are paying good money for Leo Messi because he is

one

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of the best and his tactics can’t be replicated.

On the other hand

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, there are

also

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other people who dedicate their

life

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lives

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to a career and earn less because it is not in the

sport

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sports

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field. Even though those who are excellent in an area still get paid enormously, they don’t have the chance to earn a

tremendously

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tremendous

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amound

Correct your spelling

amount

of money like sports

professionals

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do. Lawyers, ingenieurs, doctors and other key

professionals

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invest almost their entire

life

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lives

show examples

into education, practice and excellence, and sometimes their work is not paid

accordingly

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For example

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, doctors have to finish a lot of years of study to be able to practice in the field. They

also

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save

lifes

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lives

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, so their work is crucial to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

To conclude

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, the top-dog sportsmen are

one

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of a kind and a big reward makes them

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apply

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strive to the top. Some people would say that there is a bias

having

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in having

show examples

them paid more than other

proffesion

Correct your spelling

profession

professions

, but I can’t agree with

this

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point of view because

this

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is what makes the competition fierce.

Submitted by catalinamaria.n on Wed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

The essay does a good job of addressing both sides of the argument and provides a clear opinion at the end. However, to improve task response, consider elaborating on your examples and providing more specific detailed points to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, try to improve the transitions between paragraphs and ensure your ideas flow smoothly. Using more cohesive devices would also help in this regard.

coherence cohesion

Be mindful of language accuracy and avoid minor grammatical errors. For example, 'ingenieurs' should be 'engineers,' and 'amound' should be 'amount.' Refining your language will make your writing more professional.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your essay. Good job!

task achievement

The examples provided are relevant and help to illustrate your points well.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

321 words

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