All parents want the best opportunities for their children. There are some people who think that schools teach children skills but others think having a range of subjects is better for a child's future. Discuss both sides and give your opinion .
Nowadays parents
became
more aware Wrong verb form
have become
for
their Change preposition
of
children
needs. All parents around the world Change noun form
children's
wants
their Change the verb form
want
child
to Fix the agreement mistake
children
had
the best opportunities. It Change the verb
have
consedared
by some Correct your spelling
considered
that
is
schools the best choice Change the verb form
are
to learn
skills , Change preposition
for learning
while
there are others who think that schools is
not enough Change the verb form
are
for preparing
kids Change preposition
to prepare
to
Change preposition
for
life
challenges .In my Change noun form
life's
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
school
is not the perfect environment for develop
Change the verb form
developing
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
personality
.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
school
is good
place to prepare Add an article
a good
children
for acadimic
life.Correct your spelling
academic
in addition
, They will be with people as
Change preposition
at
same
level as them . Change the article
the same
Thats
will give them the Correct your spelling
That
confident
to express Replace the word
confidence
about them self
, Correct pronoun usage
themselves
beld
Correct your spelling
build
relashions
, and improve Correct your spelling
relations
theie
soft skills. Correct your spelling
their
these
For example
, children
will experiance
Correct your spelling
experience
the
life in Correct article usage
apply
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
way
their parents will not Fix the agreement mistake
ways
ba
around to protect them and Correct your spelling
be
thats
will be Correct your spelling
that
that's
benifits improve
their personality . Meanwhile, Replace the word
beneficial in improving
children
will gain different value
from Fix the agreement mistake
values
school
such
as teamworkCorrect word choice
and
colaporation
from the given lessons.
Correct your spelling
collaboration
One
the Correct your spelling
On
othe
hand, all Correct your spelling
other
children
is
equal at Change the verb form
are
school
, Furthermore
, everyone has his own abality
.studing the same for a student can be not fairer for some . Correct your spelling
ability
Their
are some pupils Replace the word
There
Correct pronoun usage
who had
had
Correct pronoun usage
who had
a
high marks in Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
specific
Add an article
a specific
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
Correct word choice
but in
Correct word choice
but in
Change preposition
at
in
the same time they Change preposition
at
are
not good Wrong verb form
were
Change preposition
at
on
others . Change preposition
at
In addition
, childhood is the most importent
time for creat Correct your spelling
important
kids
Change noun form
kids'
kid's
personallity
. Correct your spelling
personality
Haviing
more Correct your spelling
Having
subject
related to student interest can make them one step ahead of those Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
ho
do not,Correct your spelling
who
Becaues
they are Correct your spelling
Because
foucasing
on what they like and maybe it will be their future. Correct your spelling
focusing
focussing
For example
, Thier
is many people Correct your spelling
there
Correct pronoun usage
who focuse
focuse
on Correct your spelling
focus
focused
thier pation
and Correct your spelling
their passion
becam
famous Correct your spelling
become
artiest
and Change preposition
for artiest
musical
.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
musicals
while
people may very
in their opinion. I think that Correct your spelling
vary
school
is such
as
a prison for talent . I Change preposition
apply
dont
think anyone can improve Correct your spelling
don't
Change the pronoun
his
him self
theirCorrect your spelling
himself
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coherence
Try to ensure that each paragraph flows logically from one point to the next. Using transitional phrases can help achieve this.
cohesion
Avoid repetition and aim for more varied sentence structures to engage the reader better.
task response
Make sure your main points are fully developed and supported with more specific examples.
general
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and refining sentence structure to enhance clarity.
structure
You have provided a clear stance in your introduction and reiterated your viewpoint in the conclusion, which is good for coherence.
task response
You've made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.