Now a days, many people have to work longer hours, and they feel more stressed out than before. What are the reasons? What can employers do to make their employees' lives easier?

these days, the
lonnger
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longer
period you spend
it
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apply
show examples
in
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at
show examples
work
become
Wrong verb form
becomes
show examples
routine for most
of
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apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
and for that
Correct your spelling
reason
reasone
Add a comma
reasone,
show examples
the
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
feel
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feels
show examples
stressed out, more
anxiouse
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anxious
and
a
Add a missing verb
have a
show examples
lot of other
psycological
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psychological
and
physyological
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psychological
problems. but what the
employes
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employees
show examples
can do to
relive
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relieve
show examples
this
kind of stress and make
there
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their
show examples
lives
more easy
Replace the words
easier
show examples
? in terms,
the
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apply
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life become more complex than before so
the
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apply
show examples
jobs these days
not
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are not
show examples
like in past
due to
the
worker
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workers
show examples
in
contiouse
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constant
competetion
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competition
with
other
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others
show examples
the
majoraty
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majority
of them working harder and
some times
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sometimes
show examples
post the working hours.
also
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also,
show examples
the
employes
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employees
show examples
them self they
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themself
themselves
show examples
can not
finishe
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finish
finished
there
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their
show examples
work
during
the
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apply
show examples
working hours so they need to
work
after
the
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apply
show examples
working hours or even during the weekend. in my opinion
due to
life changes
as well as
the jobs.
on the other hand
, the worker
have
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has
show examples
many options to make their
live
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lives
show examples
become comfortable and easier as much as they can.
for
example
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example,
show examples
they can
work
in a team so the
responsability
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responsibility
will be divided equally between them, they must know how to do time
managment
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management
, ask for help if
need it
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
and make
Add an article
a plane
the plane
show examples
plane
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plans
show examples
for
everytings
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everything
. the people can spend time with
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
family, go out with friends ,
do
Correct word choice
and do
show examples
some
rellaxing stratiges
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relaxing strategies
( spa day, massage and yoga).
to sum up
the
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apply
show examples
life become
defriente
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more different
show examples
than before
bu
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but
show examples
the person can
deciside
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decide
to
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whether to
show examples
be
in stress
Change preposition
stressed
show examples
or
no
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not
show examples
if he
know
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knows
show examples
how to
do
Verb problem
manage
show examples
stress managment and to
controle everythings
Correct your spelling
control everything
in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
way.
Submitted by llaora on

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Grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to increase clarity. Simple errors like 'the lonnger period you spend it in work' should be 'the longer hours spent at work'.
Development
Develop your arguments further with clear examples and evidence. For instance, explain more about how jobs have changed and why this leads to more stress.
Logical flow
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that ideas are logically connected. Transitions between sentences and paragraphs can help improve coherence.
Conclusion
Conclude your essay with a strong summary that ties all your main points together. Your conclusion is somewhat weak and doesn’t effectively summarize the discussion.
Question addressed
You addressed the question by discussing both causes of work-related stress and potential solutions employers can implement.
Suggestions provided
You provided some valid suggestions for reducing stress, such as working in teams and time management.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Burnout: A state of physical and emotional exhaustion often caused by prolonged stress.
  • Telecommuting: Working from a location outside of the traditional office environment, usually from home.
  • Work-life balance: The equilibrium between personal life and career work.
  • Flexible working hours: A system that allows employees to choose their working hours within certain limits.
  • Occupational wellbeing: The overall mental, physical, and emotional health of an individual in relation to their job.
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