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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

The bart chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting the main features, and make comparison where relevant
#bart #information #families #country #income #features #comparison
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The bar chart represents the information about the
families
Change noun form
family's
families'
show examples
 weekly average expenses for the respective
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 1968 and 2018.
This
Linking Words
 chart explains how weekly
income
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 spent by each and every family.
The
Correct article usage
Overall
show examples
overall
Linking Words
, in the
year
Use synonyms
 1968 families spent more
income
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
food
Use synonyms
 and in 2018 some families spent
leisure
Correct quantifier usage
more leisure
show examples
 time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more.I will explain about
this
Linking Words
 chart in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 who wish to
spent
Change the verb
spend
show examples
 their money in different sectors based on their
income
Use synonyms
. The are eight sectors namely
food
Use synonyms
, housing, fuel and power, clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
 and personal goods , transport and leisure time.In the
year
Use synonyms
 2018, leisure stands first because most of the
people
Use synonyms
 spent more money nearly 23% and in 1968, 8% of
people
Use synonyms
 spent their money on free time. In 1968,
people
Use synonyms
 spent less amount in transport for travelling and in the
year
Use synonyms
 2018 around 14% of
income
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 transport
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
.In 2018 for
food
Use synonyms
 and
housing
Add a comma
housing,
show examples
 there is only
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
show examples
 difference between the
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
.
Food
Use synonyms
 stands first
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
 every sector in the
year
Use synonyms
 1968.Fuel and power and
personals
Change the noun form
personal
show examples
 goods have
Correct article usage
a similiar
show examples
similiar
Correct your spelling
similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 for both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years. In the
Use synonyms
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 2018 and
1968
Add a comma
1968,
show examples
 the
people
Use synonyms
 spent
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 amount of percentage. We would say that
people
Use synonyms
 have spent their
income
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 the
income
Use synonyms
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 they earn and
according to
Linking Words
 the
people
Use synonyms
's interest.
Submitted by insighttribez on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "according to".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, income, food, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "explains" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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