IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution #measures
way to solve
this
 issue is increasing the price of petrol ,I do not agree with it,because it would
make
Verb problem
cause
show examples
 more problems for poor people and the economy.
Firstly
,many countries
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 tried
this
 solution but didn’t get any success from it,the reason why it didn’t work is because poor people couldn’t buy it,it would become a big problem for them and to fix
this
 trouble they have to make protest.One clear example is the USA,in 2022 the cost of diesel
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased to 4
dollar
Change to a plural noun
dollars
show examples
,
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a
result
Add the comma(s)
result,
show examples
this
 change led to big hate on
president
Add an article
the president
show examples
 and
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 a big protest there.
Secondly
,the economics of
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 would go down
due to
 it.The reason for
that is
 the price of gas,citizens wouldn’t be able to buy the gas and owing to it the economy of
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 will go down.
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 by increasing the price of petrol
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more persons
couldn’t
Correct your spelling
wouldn’t
show examples
 be able to buy it and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less money would get country ,
for
this
reason
Add the comma(s)
reason,
show examples
 the
econ
Correct your spelling
economy
show examples
 will down.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 the same situation happened in Russia. In conclusion,taking everything mentioned into account in our final analysis we can say the worst way to fix the problem of growing traffic and pollution is
increase
Fix the infinitive
to increase
show examples
 the cost of gas.I believe the most effective measure is
develop
Fix the infinitive
to develop
show examples
 cycling and walking infrastructure and improve public transport.
Submitted by dnm.best on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Include a clear introduction to provide context and outline the main points you will discuss.
cohesion
Use connecting words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between your ideas and paragraphs.
development
Provide more detailed examples and expand on each point to fully develop your argument.
clarity
Rephrase certain sentences to improve clarity and avoid repetitions.
support
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens the argument.
task response
Your essay has a clear stance on the issue, and you have explained the reasons behind your viewpoint.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Discourage
  • Incentivize
  • Alternative energy
  • Public transportation
  • Lower-income
  • Carpool
  • Ride-sharing
  • Congestion
  • Urban planning
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Tax incentives
  • Electric and hybrid vehicles
  • Emissions standards
  • Cleaner vehicles
  • Congestion charges
  • Bicycle lanes
  • Sustainable
What to do next:
Look at other essays: