IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people believe that cigarette smoking has had a negative impact for far too long and the only solution to end ot, is to make cigarettes illegall worldwide. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give explanations and examples to support your opinion.

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Smoking kills injuries to health. A large number of people think that smoking
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 creates detrimental effects on the population whether first-hand smokers or second-hand smokers so there is only one way to stop smoking by banned worldwide. I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it amplifies cigarette smuggling and there are some other ways to cure
this
Linking Words
 issue than completely prohibited.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,
cigarette's
Change noun form
cigarette
show examples
price
Use synonyms
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 can assist
to reduce
Change preposition
in reducing
show examples
 the purchasing quantity that
five
Add a missing verb
is five
show examples
 times higher than current prices, and
as a result
Linking Words
, people's buying capacity might be reduced
due to
Linking Words
 lack of affordability.
For example
Linking Words
, the Australian government has imposed a heavy tax on cigarette pockets in order to smoker ratio has finished than before imposing a heavy tax on
this
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 product. When banning
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 completely many illegal smuggling persons use
this
Linking Words
 chance to sell
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 with a high
price
Use synonyms
 in the black market and
this
Linking Words
 is not good for any country to improve the black market.
Hence
Linking Words
, increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 can reduce the purchasing quantity.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the authorities should ban public places in smoking
such
Linking Words
 as shopping malls, hospitals, bus stations, railway stations, parks, and libraries.
This
Linking Words
 means they create
smoking
Add an article
a smoking
the smoking
show examples
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
show examples
 and are in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public places that make
ashamed
Correct pronoun usage
them ashamed
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 and embarrassing moment to
banking
Replace the word
bankers
show examples
 who smoke in
smoking
Correct article usage
the smoking
show examples
zone
Fix the agreement mistake
zones
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, so smoking might be reduced.
For instance
Linking Words
, in India's lung cancer ratio has lessened after
installation
Correct article usage
the installation
show examples
 of the smoking zones in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public areas because of the population's guilt. Needless to say, completely banning
cigarettes
Use synonyms
 is not
end
Correct article usage
an end
show examples
 for smoking
instead
Linking Words
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it will
increases
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 among youngsters and children
also
Linking Words
 will start to use it. In conclusion,
Use synonyms
cigarettes
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarette
show examples
making
Verb problem
apply
show examples
illegal
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
cannot end smoking there
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 ways to stop
this
Linking Words
 like increasing the
price
Use synonyms
 of
cigarettes
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 creating guilt feel of smokers
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 making smoking zones in public locations.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I strongly disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because it enhances the black market's activities.

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next, and avoid abrupt shifts in topic.
task achievement
Clarify your main points and support them with more specific examples. Avoid general statements without evidence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present but need to be more impactful. Make sure to effectively summarize your main points in the conclusion.
task achievement
You have identified and addressed the main topic of the essay and provided your opinion clearly.
task achievement
You have included some relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.
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