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Subjects like arts, music and drama are more important than other subjects and therefore should be given more time in the calendar. Do you agree or disagree?

#subjects #arts #music #drama #time #calendar
For some people,
subjects
 like arts, music and drama are more significant than other
subjects
.
Hence
, they only give importance to
such
 topics.
While
 others may disagree with
this
 opinion. I strongly agree and the reasons for the same are discussed in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, arts, music and drama stimulate creativity, critical thinking, and problem-solving skills which are essential for innovation in any field.
Moreover
, these sectors offer substantial career opportunities, and these
subjects
 can help nurture young talent in these areas.
For example
, my elder sister who is very good at drawing, had less interest in studying other
subjects
 at school.
Hence
, she enrolled herself in
Correct article usage
an art
show examples
art
Fix the agreement mistake
arts
show examples
 and
craft
Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
show examples
 course in graduation.
Consequently
, she has been teaching drawing in a school since 2023 and for even better career opportunities in the coming years.
Additionally
, engaging in arts, music and drama has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety in youngsters which ultimately
leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to a healthier student population.
Furthermore
, these
subjects
 help students express their emotions, improve their social skills, and build confidence, contributing to mental well-being. Putting it briefly, a focus on arts-based
subjects
 ensures a more rounded education, which prepares students for diverse career paths
along with
 stimulating creativity, critical thinking, problem-solving skills, and talent nurturing.
Submitted by krnveerrsingh on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using more connecting words and phrases to link your ideas smoothly between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Offer a clearer and stronger conclusion to effectively summarize your points. This helps to leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay by organizing your arguments more clearly. For instance, dedicate separate paragraphs to each of your main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This would enhance the task response and make your essay more compelling.
task achievement
Try to address the counterarguments more explicitly to demonstrate a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and a satisfactory conclusion, which helps in maintaining cohesion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic.
task achievement
Your arguments about creativity, stress reduction, and career opportunities are clear and insightful.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Stimulate creativity
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional and social benefits
  • Self-expression
  • Cultural appreciation
  • Global citizenship
  • Balanced education
  • Diverse career paths
  • Stress reduction
  • Mental well-being
  • Talent nurturing
  • Substantial career opportunities
  • Arts-based subjects
  • Confidence building
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