Countries with a long average working day are likely to be more economically successful than other countries, but many suffer some negative social-consequences as a result. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #social-consequences

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To begin

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, it is vital to understand that a plethora of developed countries

such

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as the USA, and Europe nations are investing in their financial systems and economic situations.

As a result

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, the government increases employees’ working

time

Use synonyms

to run

progresses

Verb problem

apply

show examples

radically and makes workers try their uttermost to dedicate

Correct pronoun usage

themselves to

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the processes in each of the companies. The countries forcing people to have more

time

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to work in a float of offices or factories can enjoy fiercely competitive markets in the world now and turn into a modernized powerful country.

In contrast

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, trying to exhaust the workers' mental health thanks to rising the

time

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of working can lead to disappointments in society. Individuals after working for a long

time

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can suffer from stress and

Change preposition

apply

show examples

under

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apply

show examples

pressure.

Furthermore

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, they don't have

time

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to take care of themselves or their families, so they will be sick and have some bad conditions.

Moreover

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, because they burn the midnight oil to work, they may have insomnia

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

condition will decrease their attention and lead to bad results in their careers.

Additionally

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, if their chagrin

becomes

Verb problem

apply

show examples

overflow

Fix the agreement mistake

overflows

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, it will make a riot protesting the

heaving working

Correct your spelling

heavy-working

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regime. In conclusion,

although

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the heavy schedule in working can affect the ways of improving the economy in countries, they will have a large amount of social consequences. The governments should set up reasonable working times for employees and the workers should enjoy their lives rather than focusing most of their

time

Use synonyms

on earning money.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu Jun 13 2024

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task response

Try to include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention actual statistics or case studies from countries with long working hours and their economic and social impacts.

task response

Work on improving the clarity and depth of your ideas. Some points need more elaboration to be fully understood and convincing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure a logical flow between your paragraphs. Sometimes the transition between ideas feels abrupt. Use linking phrases to guide the reader through your argument.

coherence cohesion

Avoid generalizations. Specify which European nations or industries you are referring to for a more precise argument.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in presenting and wrapping up your argument effectively.

task response

You have highlighted both the economic advantages and social disadvantages of long working hours, providing a balanced view.

task response

The language used shows a good range of vocabulary and grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

247 words

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Countries with a long average working day are likely to be more economically successful than other countries, but many suffer some negative social-consequences as a result. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

as cities get bigger, many people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is being lost. what problems does this cause ? and potential solutions ?

You are going abroad on holiday and your friend will stay in your home while you are away. Write a letter to your friend, in your letter - explain where you hide the keys - describe what your friend needs to do in your absent - say when you are coming back

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?