Some people believe that if the police force carries guns, it would encourage a higher level of violence in that society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

As a country, we feel safe when we see
police
Correct article usage
a police
show examples
force
amongst us because they provide us with security against evil
people
.
However
, the issue of having
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
force
carrying
Wrong verb form
carry
show examples
fire arms
Correct your spelling
firearms
show examples
is debatable, since some
people
believe that it
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
violence in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. In
this
essay, I will
dicuss
Correct your spelling
discuss
this
view and explain why I
disconcur
Verb problem
disagree
show examples
with
this
idea.
Firstly
,
police
Add an article
the police
show examples
force
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
there to maintain peace and order in the country. If there were no
police
, the nation
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
be full of lawlessness. There are evil
people
out there who are waiting to rob and steal from those who work hard for their families. In
this
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
it is
police's
Correct article usage
the police's
show examples
duty to investigate and capture the
perpetraters
Correct your spelling
perpetrators
perpetrator
and bring them to justice. These robbers are known to be carrying weapons to attack anyone who
decide
Change the verb form
decides
show examples
to stand in their way.
Therefore
, the
police
need weapons to defend themselves against these ruthless
people
.
For instance
, if a
police
on patrol sees a car hijacking taking place he should go and stop the act, but it will be dangerous to approach without a means of defence because usually the hijackers will be armed, so the
police
need to be always prepared for
such
encounters so that they can overpower the
enermy
Correct your spelling
enemy
. In some cases it
not
Add a missing verb
is not
show examples
important for the
police
to be carrying guns, some
people
are intimidated when they see
gun
Fix the agreement mistake
guns
show examples
.
This
can cause
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
to feel unsafe and the only thing that comes
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
their mind is to become defensive,
this
is exactly how
violance
Correct your spelling
violence
starts. Moreso, some
police
force
are
triger
Correct your spelling
truer
happy, they do not know when to draw their weapon,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
end up using excessive
force
where it will be unnecessary.
This
may cause anger on the mass resulting in unnecessary violence. In conclusion, I believe
police
should have specific areas and times
whern
Correct your spelling
when
where
they should carry
fire arms
Correct your spelling
firearms
show examples
.
For example
, they should have a gun when they are doing night patrols,
then
they must leave their guns when they are in business areas.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Ensure consistency in tone and argument, and avoid conflicting statements. For example, specify what you mean by 'specific areas and times' for carrying firearms.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing to make your essay more professional. For example, correct misspellings and ensure subject-verb agreement, such as 'the police need weapons' vs. 'the police needs weapons.'
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You provide relevant and specific examples to support your points, such as the car hijacking scenario.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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