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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart compares
England
Use synonyms
, Wales,
Scotland
Use synonyms
 and Northern Ireland in terms of how many females were unemployed from 2013 to 2014.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 the proportion of female unemployment in
Scotland
Use synonyms
 registered significant upward trends, that of
England
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, Wales and Northern Ireland witnessed completely opposite patterns during the surveyed period.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
England
Use synonyms
 was by far the most popular country in its female jobless. In 2013, the percentage of women without any jobs in
England
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 was the highest number, accounting for 6,8%,followed by
Scotland
Use synonyms
 at 6,1%. A year
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
latter
Correct your spelling
later
show examples
, there was a slow decrease to 6,5% in the figure for
Englend
Correct your spelling
England
,
while
Linking Words
 a quick jump to 6,7% was seen in the percentages of unemployed females in
Scotland
Use synonyms
On the other hand
Linking Words
, approximately 5.4% of female unemployment came from Wales, hitting the lowest figure in 2013, compared to 5,6%
of
Change preposition
in
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 Northern Ireland. In 2014, both of them dropped significantly, with 5% and 4,6% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words england, scotland with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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