The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese Yen from 1953 to 1973.

IELTS Writing Task Chart for The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese Yen from 1953 to 1973.

The line graph illustrates the average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

prices of black and white, and colour

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

in Japanese

yen

Use synonyms

from 1953 to 1973. During 1953, the average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

was at about 30

yen

Use synonyms

per

month

Use synonyms

, whilst the price for a black and white TV

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

at 100

yen

Use synonyms

. In 1958, coloured

TVs

Use synonyms

were introduced,

valuing

Wrong verb form

valued

show examples

at 180

yen

Use synonyms

, which made prices for the black and white

TVs

Use synonyms

decreased

Wrong verb form

decrease

show examples

to 80

yen

Use synonyms

Conversely

Linking Words

, the average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

increased twice the amount in 1953.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

during

Change preposition

from

show examples

1963 till 1973 had a steady increase, starting at 60

yen

Use synonyms

per

month

Use synonyms

to 180

yen

Use synonyms

per

month

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, prices of black and white

TVs

Use synonyms

and coloured

TVs

Use synonyms

had a significant drop. In 1963, coloured

TVs

Use synonyms

were valued at 110

yen

Use synonyms

, whilst non-coloured

TVs

Use synonyms

were 60

yen

Use synonyms

per piece.

This

Linking Words

trend continued until 1973 with coloured

TVs

Use synonyms

at 90

yen

Use synonyms

and black and white

TVs

Use synonyms

at about 37

yen

Use synonyms

per piece. In conclusion, during the time period 1953 to 1973, the average monthly

salary

Use synonyms

had an upward trend, peaking

180

Change preposition

at 180

show examples

yen

Use synonyms

per

month

Use synonyms

in 1973, whilst the price of both

colored

Change the spelling

coloured

show examples

and

non-colored

Change the spelling

non-coloured

show examples

TVs

Use synonyms

had a downward trend by the end of 1973.

kelly

Jun 13, 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, yen, month, tvs with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Average monthly salary
Black and white TV
Colour TV
Japanese Yen
Affordability
Upward/downward trend
Technological advancements
Consumer preferences
Price dynamics
Market changes
Increase/decrease
Ratio
Introduction
Compare/contrast

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is an ongoing debate on the impact of a competitive sport on children. Where some believe that it is essential to include competitive sports as a part of formal education. While others firmly believe that the inclusion of such sports might have a negative impact on children. I advocate for competitive sports, as I believe it is important for children to learn the importance of physical exercise and explore it as a possible career option.
4.5
band
Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is believed by many that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. However, other people oppose this statement, saying that it is obsolete and no longer true. This paragraph will discuss both views and personal opinions.
7
band
Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others, however, argue that the circumstances of an individual crime, and the motivation for committing it, should always be taken into account when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people argue that the same criteria of punishment should be applied to each category of crime, while others believe that sentencing should depend on the offender’s motivation. I support the view that the intention behind a crime should be considered, as offenders may not always have alternatives.
7.5
band
Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Many people believe that the reduction of the crime rate will be achieved more effectively through better education rather than prison sentences. I disagree with this view, because I consider that both approaches have their own distinctive merits and should each play an integral role in tackling crime.
7
band
Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is believed by some that there are plenty of troubles. Also, it boils down to one thing government officials have figured out the best way to solve them. Some urgent problems can be eliminated through international participation. I partly agree with this opinion based on two reasons including knowledge and facilities, which I will discuss in the following paragraphs.

The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese Yen from 1953 to 1973.

Some people think competitive sport is important for a child's education. Others think it has negative effects on children. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that sending criminals to prison is not effective. Education and job training should be used instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?