The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese Yen from 1953 to 1973.

#salary #prices #colour #tv #japanese #yen

The line graph illustrates the average monthly

salary

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

prices of black and white, and colour

Fix the agreement mistake

TVs

show examples

in Japanese

yen

from 1953 to 1973. During 1953, the average monthly

salary

was at about 30

yen

per

month

, whilst the price for a black and white TV

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

at 100

yen

. In 1958, coloured

TVs

were introduced,

valuing

Wrong verb form

valued

show examples

at 180

yen

, which made prices for the black and white

TVs

decreased

Wrong verb form

decrease

show examples

to 80

yen

Conversely

, the average monthly

salary

increased twice the amount in 1953.

Furthermore

, the average monthly

salary

during

Change preposition

from

show examples

1963 till 1973 had a steady increase, starting at 60

yen

per

month

to 180

yen

per

month

On the other hand

, prices of black and white

TVs

and coloured

TVs

had a significant drop. In 1963, coloured

TVs

were valued at 110

yen

, whilst non-coloured

TVs

were 60

yen

per piece.

This

trend continued until 1973 with coloured

TVs

at 90

yen

and black and white

TVs

at about 37

yen

per piece. In conclusion, during the time period 1953 to 1973, the average monthly

salary

had an upward trend, peaking

180

Change preposition

at 180

show examples

yen

per

month

in 1973, whilst the price of both

colored

Change the spelling

coloured

show examples

and

non-colored

Change the spelling

non-coloured

show examples

TVs

had a downward trend by the end of 1973.

Submitted by kelly on Thu Jun 13 2024

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, yen, month, tvs with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.

▼

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Average monthly salary
Black and white TV
Colour TV
Japanese Yen
Affordability
Upward/downward trend
Technological advancements
Consumer preferences
Price dynamics
Market changes
Increase/decrease
Ratio
Introduction
Compare/contrast

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The graph below shows the average monthly salary and the prices of black and white and colour TV in Japanese Yen from 1953 to 1973.

48.Some people say that outdoor activities benefit children's development rather than computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. #people #situation #job