Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Children

Change noun form

Children's

show examples

treatment is one of the

debateful

Correct your spelling

debate

discussions among people. Some believe that giving freedom to youngsters could lead to

selfish

Correct article usage

a selfish

show examples

generation;

while

Linking Words

others think that giving

choice

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

youngsters to opt

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

wishes, is a positive

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. I heartfully agree with the

second

Use synonyms

opinion, and in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the reasons. To commence with, some believe that prohibiting youngsters

to make

Change preposition

from making

show examples

choice

Use synonyms

about their personal preferences, could be helpful. In fact,

this

Linking Words

manner could lead to irrecoverable consequences. Making tough

limitation

Fix the agreement mistake

limitations

show examples

could damage toddlers'

personality

Fix the agreement mistake

personalities

show examples

, specifically,

target

Wrong verb form

targeting

show examples

their

self- esteem

Correct your spelling

self-esteem

show examples

and

self-

Correct your spelling

self-confidence

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

. Meanwhile, authoritarian parenting can decrease

Use synonyms

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

social skills.

For example

Linking Words

, based on

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

, those juveniles

who their

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

parent's

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

is tough and restrictive, experience more anxiety and depression, and tackle with

problem

Add an article

a problem

the problem

show examples

- solving issues in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adulthood.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, giving space to a

child

Use synonyms

to make their own preferences, is another type of treatment

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

that can cause positive changes in kids. I think

this

Linking Words

style improves their personality, and

also

Linking Words

build

Correct subject-verb agreement

builds

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

. Clearly,

this

Linking Words

acquisition can

Wrong verb form

be followed

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

more successful achievements, which in a positive loop, make the personality stronger. Based on

researches

Fix the agreement mistake

research

show examples

, those juveniles

who their

Correct pronoun usage

whose

show examples

parents are supportive and

protector

Replace the word

protective

show examples

of their choices, are more prosperous, and experience happy relationships

due to

Linking Words

their

self-

Correct your spelling

self-confidence

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adulthood. In conclusion, there are two major viewpoints about

child

Use synonyms

treatment.

First

Correct article usage

The first

show examples

one

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is based on

choice

Use synonyms

limitation, and the

second

Use synonyms

one, is about free

well

Correct your spelling

will

show examples

and

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

optional. I think the

second

Use synonyms

way is the best. In the

choice

Use synonyms

limitation manner,

youngster

Fix the agreement mistake

youngsters

show examples

could grow more

self- esteem

Correct your spelling

self-esteem

show examples

and

self-

Correct your spelling

self-confidence

show examples

confidence

Use synonyms

issues;

while

Linking Words

, in the

second

Use synonyms

way,

Use synonyms

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

could be more

self- confident

Correct your spelling

self-confident

show examples

and more successful.

aksoysanaThu Jun 13 2024

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task achievement

Your essay introduces the topic and presents both viewpoints clearly, but some ideas could benefit from clearer development and more detailed examples.

coherence cohesion

While your points are generally clear, they are sometimes hindered by occasional language inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structure and coherence to enhance clarity.

coherence cohesion

Your essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and includes a strong introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You provide a series of clear, relevant points supported by research, which strengthens your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Autonomy
Consequence-awareness
Self-centered
Informal decision-making education
Child development
Age-appropriate choices
Cognitive growth
Fostering independence
Parental guidance
Societal norms
Interpersonal consideration
Balance of freedom
Individualism versus collectivism
Experience-based learning

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