Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Children
treatment is one of the Change noun form
Children's
debateful
discussions among people. Some believe that giving freedom to youngsters could lead to Correct your spelling
debate
selfish
generation; Correct article usage
a selfish
while
others think that giving choice
to the
youngsters to opt Correct article usage
apply
their
wishes, is a positive Change preposition
for their
behavior
. I heartfully agree with the Change the spelling
behaviour
second
opinion, and in this
essay
I will discuss Add a comma
essay,
about
the reasons.
To commence with, some believe that prohibiting youngsters Remove the preposition
apply
to make
a Change preposition
from making
choice
about their personal preferences, could be helpful. In fact, this
manner could lead to irrecoverable consequences. Making tough limitation
could damage toddlers' Fix the agreement mistake
limitations
personality
, specifically, Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
target
their Wrong verb form
targeting
self- esteem
and Correct your spelling
self-esteem
self-
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
confidence
. Meanwhile, authoritarian parenting can decrease child's
social skills. Correct article usage
a child's
For example
, based on researches
, those juveniles Fix the agreement mistake
research
who their
parent's Correct pronoun usage
whose
behavior
is tough and restrictive, experience more anxiety and depression, and tackle with Change the spelling
behaviour
problem
- solving issues in Add an article
a problem
the problem
the
adulthood.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, giving space to a child
to make their own preferences, is another type of treatment behavior
that can cause positive changes in kids. I think Change the spelling
behaviour
this
style improves their personality, and also
, build
up Correct subject-verb agreement
builds
confidence
. Clearly, this
acquisition can follow
Wrong verb form
be followed
with
more successful achievements, which in a positive loop, make the personality stronger. Based on Change preposition
by
researches
, those juveniles Fix the agreement mistake
research
who their
parents are supportive and Correct pronoun usage
whose
protector
of their choices, are more prosperous, and experience happy relationships Replace the word
protective
due to
their self-
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
confidence
in the
adulthood.
In conclusion, there are two major viewpoints about Correct article usage
apply
child
treatment. First
oneCorrect article usage
The first
,
is based on Remove the comma
apply
choice
limitation, and the second
one, is about free well
and Correct your spelling
will
being
optional. I think the Change the form of the verb
is
second
way is the best. In the choice
limitation manner, youngster
could grow more Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
self- esteem
and Correct your spelling
self-esteem
self-
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
confidence
issues; while
, in the second
way, child
could be more Fix the agreement mistake
children
self- confident
and more successful.Correct your spelling
self-confident
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task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and presents both viewpoints clearly, but some ideas could benefit from clearer development and more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
While your points are generally clear, they are sometimes hindered by occasional language inaccuracies and awkward phrasing. Focus on improving sentence structure and coherence to enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your essay effectively presents both sides of the argument and includes a strong introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You provide a series of clear, relevant points supported by research, which strengthens your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite