the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities

the chart below shows the result of a survey about people's coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five australian cities
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The bar chart illustrates the consumption of
coffee
Use synonyms
and tea in five cities in Australia.
Overall
Linking Words
, for the
last
Linking Words
4 weeks in these cities, it can be seen that Australians preferred
instant
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coffee
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to fresh
coffee
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and they would rather go to the cafe than buy these drinks. More than 50% of city
residents
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in Sydney,
Melbourne
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, Brisbane and
Hobart
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went to a cafe for
coffee
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or tea in the
last
Linking Words
four weeks.
In particular
Linking Words
, the highest of 63% in
Melbourne
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and
Hobart
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, compared to 60% in Sydney and 55% in Brisbane.
By contrast
Linking Words
, in Adelaide, the
percentage
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of
people
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who went to a cafe for
coffee
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and tea was less than 50% in the
last
Linking Words
4 weeks.
Melbourne
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and
Hobart
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has co nguoi di cf nhieu nhat la 63% Regarding the consumption of
instant
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and fresh
coffee
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, the
percentage
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of
people
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who bought
instant
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coffee
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in Brisbane and
Hobart
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was over 50%, almost twice as high as those of fresh
coffee
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. In Adelaide, the
percentage
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of
people
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who bought
instant
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coffee
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was 50%, almost as high as that
bought
Correct pronoun usage
who bought
show examples
fresh
coffee
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. 48% of
residents
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bought
instant
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coffee
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, and 44% of
residents
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bought fresh
coffee
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in
Melbourne
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. 45% of
residents
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bought
instant
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coffee
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and 43% of
residents
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bought fresh
coffee
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in Sydney. The graph below shows the
percentage
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of
people
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by age group visiting the cinema at least once per month in one particular country between 1978
anđ
Correct your spelling
and
2008. The line graph shows the
percentage
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of
people
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of four different age groups from one country visiting
cinema
Correct article usage
the cinema
show examples
at least
one
Correct your spelling
once
show examples
per month from 1978 to 2008.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words coffee, instant, residents, melbourne, hobart, percentage, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • preference
  • beverage
  • caffeine
  • demographics
  • trend
  • survey
  • cultural significance
  • habit
  • seasonal variation
  • health consciousness
  • availability
  • implications
  • urban vs. rural consumption
  • data interpretation
  • quantitative analysis
  • fluctuations
  • patterns
  • peak times
  • economical impact
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