A 14-year-old young who seriously damaged school was made to clean streets as a punishment. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or there are alternative forms of punishment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#school #streets #punishment #criminals #prison #alternative #forms

Crime

punishment

depends on the circumstance, the suspect was in. When it comes to children or

students

or a minor, these circumstances change drastically. I believe sending a minor to prison is not the right way of dealing

such

Change preposition

with such

show examples

crimes.

This

essay will discuss the examples and reasoning behind the psychology of underage criminals

while

suggesting alternative punishments for minors. To understand the psychology of a minor, it's dier to understand the reason why he committed a

crime

. Recent studies have shown that about 85% of minors who

commits

Correct subject-verb agreement

commit

show examples

crime

it's

Verb problem

are

show examples

either because of a reason or an underlying trauma, which

sometime

Replace the word

sometimes

show examples

is completely different from the

crime

an underage has

commited

Correct your spelling

committed

For instance

, In the UK, psychologists confirmed that many times kids are being bullied, or mentally abused,

due to

which, they feel to do the same things with others.

Similarly

, a case study was presented

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

stated a kid had damaged school property because of the

countinuous

Correct your spelling

continuous

pressure of study. To resolve

this

issue, different authorities take different measures. Like in the USA, detention

being

Change the form of the verb

show examples

a proper

punishment

. Where a student has to sit in a class without anything with him, just so he can realise his mistake. In India,

students

or minors are placed in juvenile jail, by making

the

Correct your spelling

them

show examples

understand, the disastrous

crime

they could face in a real jail.

However

, I believe both of these are right depending on the circumstances of the

crime

. A study conducted in

Netherlands

Correct article usage

the Netherlands

show examples

shows

otherwise

, there they concluded almost 65% try to commit crimes again. And never realised the deep issue that needed to

addressed

Add a missing verb

be addressed

show examples

. A better solution would be to place a psycholist on every 10

students

, to keep student's mentality in check.

This

way kid's

crime

would be reduced and their deep underlying would

also

be resolved.

To conclude

punishment

is necessary to keep

students

in check, but sending them directly to prison is not the right way. An alternative

punishment

for kids would be by increasing their homework or by appointing a psychologist above them, so the children could discuss their issues with them.

This

may result in a reduction in crimes like school property damage issues.

Submitted by nick on Thu Jun 13 2024

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Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical structure of your essay. This helps guide the reader through your points more effectively.

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Expand on your supporting examples and reasoning. While you did provide relevant examples, adding more detail can make your argument stronger.

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Strengthen the connection between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases where necessary.

task response

You adequately addressed the topic and presented a clear stance on the issue.

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Your introduction and conclusion are present and reflect the main points discussed.

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The examples provided are relevant and enhance the essay’s argument, particularly the studies and cases mentioned.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

362 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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A 14-year-old young who seriously damaged school was made to clean streets as a punishment. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or there are alternative forms of punishment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested to finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Many criminals commit further crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes(reasons) of this? What effects will this have on society

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In most successful companies, some people think that communication between employers and workers is the most important factor. Other people say that other factors are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The demand for coaching services has grown significantly in the digital age, with online coaching platforms becoming prevalent. Some now feel online coaching is a superior option to in-person coach. To what extent do you agree or disagree?