A 14-year-old young who seriously damaged school was made to clean streets as a punishment. Do you think young criminals should be sent to prison or there are alternative forms of punishment? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Crime
punishment
depends on the circumstance, the suspect was in. When it comes to children or students
or a minor, these circumstances change drastically. I believe sending a minor to prison is not the right way of dealing such
crimes. Change preposition
with such
This
essay will discuss the examples and reasoning behind the psychology of underage criminals while
suggesting alternative punishments for minors.
To understand the psychology of a minor, it's dier to understand the reason why he committed a crime
. Recent studies have shown that about 85% of minors who commits
a Correct subject-verb agreement
commit
crime
, it's
either
because of a reason or an underlying trauma, which Verb problem
are
sometime
is completely different from the Replace the word
sometimes
crime
an underage has commited
. Correct your spelling
committed
For instance
, In the UK, psychologists confirmed that many times kids are being bullied, or mentally abused, due to
which, they feel to do the same things with others. Similarly
, a case study was presented which
stated a kid had damaged school property because of the Correct word choice
that
countinuous
pressure of study.
To resolve Correct your spelling
continuous
this
issue, different authorities take different measures. Like in the USA, detention being
a proper Change the form of the verb
is
punishment
. Where a student has to sit in a class without anything with him, just so he can
realise his mistake. In India, students
or minors are placed in juvenile jail, by making the
understand, the disastrous Correct your spelling
them
crime
they could face in a real jail. However
, I believe both of these are right depending on the circumstances of the crime
. A study conducted in Netherlands
shows Correct article usage
the Netherlands
otherwise
, there they concluded almost 65% try to commit crimes again. And never realised the deep issue that needed to addressed
. A better solution would be to place a psycholist on every 10 Add a missing verb
be addressed
students
, to keep student's mentality in check. This
way kid's crime
would be reduced and their deep underlying would also
be resolved.
To conclude
, punishment
is necessary to keep students
in check, but sending them directly to prison is not the right way. An alternative punishment
for kids would be by increasing their homework or by appointing a psychologist above them, so the children could discuss their issues with them. This
may result in a reduction in crimes like school property damage issues.Submitted by nick
on
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Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical structure of your essay. This helps guide the reader through your points more effectively.
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Expand on your supporting examples and reasoning. While you did provide relevant examples, adding more detail can make your argument stronger.
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Strengthen the connection between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion by ensuring each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Use transitional phrases where necessary.
task response
You adequately addressed the topic and presented a clear stance on the issue.
task response
Your introduction and conclusion are present and reflect the main points discussed.
task response
The examples provided are relevant and enhance the essay’s argument, particularly the studies and cases mentioned.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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