You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that having a job you enjoy is more important than earning a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are some people who believe that having a
job
that you enjoy is more important than that of earning a high salary
. I do not completely agree to
Change preposition
with
this
because I feel that earning a high salary
is commonly desired by everyone as it not only gives a lot of motivation to operate but also
helps to fulfil our financial needs. This
essay will discuss why I believe high
Correct article usage
a high
salary
is as important as being able to enjoy a job
.
The primary reason is that salary
is the key to some motivation at work
. You cannot enjoy a job
if you are not well paid. Moreover
, if you do not get paid that
you deserve, you will not be happy Correct word choice
what
for
Change preposition
apply
which
you will not feel dedicated and determined to give your cent Correct word choice
and
percent
in your assignments. Change the spelling
per cent
Furthermore
, a survey suggests that salary
is the main reason, 80% of the
Correct article usage
apply
working class
people leave their jobs. Add a hyphen
working-class
For example
, an employee was always given a lot of presentations to work
on because she enjoyed making and presenting them but she was not rewarded for the same.
Additionally
, earning a sufficient salary
is important because it fulfils the financial needs of a person. With the increase in the daily living expenses and the situation of the financial economy, the
wages play an important role in one's life because it should be able to pay for Correct article usage
apply
the
schools, food, clothing, Correct article usage
apply
shelter
and Correct word choice
and shelter
also
help to contribute to the savings for the family. For instance
, a person earns 2000$ at work
but his monthly expense is 2500$ and he deserves 4000$ for the work
he does. He loves his job
but being underpaid is not going to keep him happy and hence
he will not be able to enjoy his job
.
In conclusion, I do not completely agree that enjoying a job
is more important than earning a high salary
as it does not work
practically because people have a lot of bills to pay. Nevertheless
, I believe enjoying the job
is as important as earning a deserving salary
.Submitted by ruchishah0 on
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task achievement
The essay tends to repeat certain ideas, leading to redundancy. Try to present a wider variety of points that support your argument to avoid this.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
You provide a well-rounded conclusion that revisits and summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement that outlines your stance on the issue.