You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people believe that having a job you enjoy is more important than earning a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some people who believe that having a
job
Use synonyms
that you enjoy is more important than that of earning a high
salary
Use synonyms
. I do not completely agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
because I feel that earning a high
salary
Use synonyms
is commonly desired by everyone as it not only gives a lot of motivation to operate but
also
Linking Words
helps to fulfil our financial needs.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss why I believe
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
Use synonyms
is as important as being able to enjoy a
job
Use synonyms
. The primary reason is that
salary
Use synonyms
is the key to some motivation at
work
Use synonyms
. You cannot enjoy a
job
Use synonyms
if you are not well paid.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if you do not get paid
that
Correct word choice
what
show examples
you deserve, you will not be happy
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
you will not feel dedicated and determined to give your cent
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in your assignments.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a survey suggests that
salary
Use synonyms
is the main reason, 80% of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working class
Add a hyphen
working-class
show examples
people leave their jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, an employee was always given a lot of presentations to
work
Use synonyms
on because she enjoyed making and presenting them but she was not rewarded for the same.
Additionally
Linking Words
, earning a sufficient
salary
Use synonyms
is important because it fulfils the financial needs of a person. With the increase in the daily living expenses and the situation of the financial economy,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wages play an important role in one's life because it should be able to pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools, food, clothing,
shelter
Correct word choice
and shelter
show examples
and
also
Linking Words
help to contribute to the savings for the family.
For instance
Linking Words
, a person earns 2000$ at
work
Use synonyms
but his monthly expense is 2500$ and he deserves 4000$ for the
work
Use synonyms
he does. He loves his
job
Use synonyms
but being underpaid is not going to keep him happy and
hence
Linking Words
he will not be able to enjoy his
job
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I do not completely agree that enjoying a
job
Use synonyms
is more important than earning a high
salary
Use synonyms
as it does not
work
Use synonyms
practically because people have a lot of bills to pay.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, I believe enjoying the
job
Use synonyms
is as important as earning a deserving
salary
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by ruchishah0 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay tends to repeat certain ideas, leading to redundancy. Try to present a wider variety of points that support your argument to avoid this.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using more transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
You provide a well-rounded conclusion that revisits and summarizes your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction provides a clear thesis statement that outlines your stance on the issue.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: