IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be complusory in high school. To extend do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #child #development #subjects #complusory #school
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In modern life, general life
skills
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such
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 as painting and drawing are very important for student
study
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 in high
school
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 so they should be compulsory in
this
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school
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.
This
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 writer disagrees with
this
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 statement because of learning too much knowledge at
school
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, they can practise them at home in order to focus on some science
subjects
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as well as
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 academic
subjects
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 to acquire better job prospects. First and foremost, students who
study
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 in high
school
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 are quite mature, so they will have awareness enough to know what need they to do or
study
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 some soft
skills
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 at home by themselves.
In other words
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, painting or drawing is quite easy for people to learn by watching some videos in their free time.
For example
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, on the YouTube platform, there are lots of useful ways or tips that people can follow to do them without studying at
school
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.
Moreover
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, students need to
study
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 academic
skills
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 more than others. They have to broaden their knowledge and horizons about the science that learning in high
school
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.
In addition
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, studying science
subjects
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 will help them become a successful entrepreneur in the future, but it does not require them to learn drawing or painting.
Therefore
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, students should not focus too much on art
subjects
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, they can do it after
study
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 time as relaxation. In conclusion, painting and drawing only suit the children, who need to learn them as the soft
skills
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 in the formative year.
Therefore
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, people can
study
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 academic
subjects
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instead
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 of having art classes at
school
Use synonyms
.
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task achievement
The introduction should clearly present your position in response to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, with relevant supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expanding on specific examples would help to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
Shows an attempt to address both parts of the question (importance of art classes and whether they should be compulsory).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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