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Band 4

It is important for foreigners to know something about the history and culture of the country they live in.’ Discuss. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#foreigners #history #culture #country
Nowadays most
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apply
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of
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apply
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Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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people
to travelling
Verb problem
travel
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 abroad for
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a job
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job
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a job
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 or business. Whilst, they must
be know
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know
show examples
 about the alien
country
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country's
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lifestyle
 and history.
Therefore
,
the
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apply
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foreigners can survive that new nations.
This
 essay is going to discuss
about
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apply
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this
 topic.
Initially
,
this
 universe has encompassed a
lot
 of
countries
 and some of them are economically strong
while
 others are weak.
Moreover
,
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of
people
 are trying to migrate to another
country
 for searching job or
doing
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to do
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 some business.
Hence
, they have to learn
the
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about the
show examples
 foreign
country
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country's
show examples
 culture. To illustrate. my
country
everyperson
Correct your spelling
every person
 eating by hand. whilst,
european
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European
show examples
 and
american
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American
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countries
 they are using
spoon
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spoons
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 or fork to use for eating.
Additionally
,
dress
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the dress
show examples
 code
also
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is also
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 totally
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
most
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in most
show examples
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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asian
countries
people
 especially, women are fully covered but in
western
Capitalize word
Western
show examples
countries
 totally different. So,
people
 who are staying outside of
thieir
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their
 native
country
 should learn and be aware of the alien
country
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country's
show examples
 culture.
Furthermore
, history is
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 between each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.
Thus
, migrants should be
study
Wrong verb form
studied
show examples
 about that
country
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country's
show examples
 past.
This
 can help them to
surivive
Correct your spelling
survive
that
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in that
show examples
country
. Because
,
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apply
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 my home
country
 there are several temples
was
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were
show examples
 built by kings.
Therefore
,
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of foreigners are coming to visit our place
alos
Correct your spelling
also
 they are all endeavouring to imitate our
ancister
Correct your spelling
ancestors
ancestor
canister
lifestyle
. To illustrate,
lot
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a lot
show examples
 of
americans
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Americans
show examples
 are working in
Add an article
the middle
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middle east
Correct your spelling
Middle East
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 and egypt
countries
 still they are
eagerly
Rephrase
still eagerly
show examples
 practicing their
lifestyle
.
To sum up
, migrants should
be learn
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learn
show examples
 about the alien
country
people
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people's
show examples
lifestyle
 and history.
Then
 only, they can survive and live a peaceful life in a foreign
country
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of paragraphs. For example, make sure each sentence within a paragraph connects naturally to the next.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring the essay more clearly. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details.
task achievement
Expand and elaborate on your main points with more specific examples and explanations to make your arguments stronger.
task achievement
Watch for grammatical errors and work on sentence construction to improve clarity and readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a relevant topic and makes an attempt to discuss the importance of understanding a foreign country's culture and history.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide structure and direction for the reader.
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