Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Due to
the advanced
technology
nowadays with cheap and easy access,
people
have
start
Change the form of the verb
started
show examples
to do
activities
remotely from their house,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
debate has emerged regarding whether
this
technology
leads a positive or negative consequences. I believe that
technology
brings a positive development despite its possible influence on social life. The convenience of using
technology
in
this
era has helped
people
to do
activities
more
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
in terms of time and cost efficiency.
Technology
nowadays with cheaper and easier access,
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
people
to do their
activities
more easily, faster, and cheaper.
For instance
, adults do not need to commute from their houses to go to the office where they work which
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
and money,
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
they can work remotely from their house and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
an Internet connection which leads an efficient time and cost as they do not need to spend much time and money to travel for
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
.
On the other hand
, the use of
technology
has shifted the regular
activities
of
people
and reduced them
to interact
Change preposition
from interacting
show examples
with each other, which can lead them to be individualistic and anti-social.
People
utilize
technology
for their daily
activities
,
such
as working, studying, or even shopping, which can impact social trends because it is shifted from the original way.
For instance
, children do not need to go to school to study,
instead
, they can remotely study from their houses using an Internet connection without meeting any of their friends physically. It is considered that it can lead children in society into individualistic and anti-social.
However
, the utilization of
technology
can still be controlled and managed by
people
to protect it from misuse. In conclusion, the convenience of using
technology
with cheaper and more accessible
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
be more efficient for
people
to help them do their
activities
. Yet
people
still have to manage and control to prevent excessive utilization of
technology
which can shift and impact their social lives.
Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on

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grammatical range accuracy
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors. For instance, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and the use of prepositions.
task response
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introduction conclusion
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introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
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