Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Due to
the advanced technology
nowadays with cheap and easy access, people
have start
to do Change the form of the verb
started
activities
remotely from their house, a
debate has emerged regarding whether Correct word choice
and a
this
technology
leads a positive or negative consequences. I believe that technology
brings a positive development despite its possible influence on social life.
The convenience of using technology
in this
era has helped people
to do activities
more effective
in terms of time and cost efficiency. Change the word
effectively
Technology
nowadays with cheaper and easier access, facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
people
to do their activities
more easily, faster, and cheaper. For instance
, adults do not need to commute from their houses to go to the office where they work which spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
times
and money, Fix the agreement mistake
time
instead
they can work remotely from their house and Add a comma
instead,
using
an Internet connection which leads an efficient time and cost as they do not need to spend much time and money to travel for Wrong verb form
use
working
.
Change the form of the verb
work
On the other hand
, the use of technology
has shifted the regular activities
of people
and reduced them to interact
with each other, which can lead them to be individualistic and anti-social. Change preposition
from interacting
People
utilize technology
for their daily activities
, such
as working, studying, or even shopping, which can impact social trends because it is shifted from the original way. For instance
, children do not need to go to school to study, instead
, they can remotely study from their houses using an Internet connection without meeting any of their friends physically. It is considered that it can lead children in society into individualistic and anti-social. However
, the utilization of technology
can still be controlled and managed by people
to protect it from misuse.
In conclusion, the convenience of using technology
with cheaper and more accessible can
be more efficient for Correct word choice
and can
people
to help them do their activities
. Yet people
still have to manage and control to prevent excessive utilization of technology
which can shift and impact their social lives.Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on
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grammatical range accuracy
To improve clarity and sophistication, vary sentence structures and consistently use more complex grammatical forms.
grammatical range accuracy
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors. For instance, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and the use of prepositions.
task response
Develop each main idea further with more specific examples and extend the explanations. This will make your argument more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smoother to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction provides a clear context and states the writer’s stance on the topic.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.