IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Due to
Linking Words
 the advanced
technology
Use synonyms
 nowadays with cheap and easy access,
people
Use synonyms
 have
start
Change the form of the verb
started
show examples
 to do
activities
Use synonyms
 remotely from their house,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
debate has emerged regarding whether
this
Linking Words
technology
Use synonyms
 leads a positive or negative consequences. I believe that
technology
Use synonyms
 brings a positive development despite its possible influence on social life. The convenience of using
technology
Use synonyms
 in
this
Linking Words
 era has helped
people
Use synonyms
 to do
activities
Use synonyms
 more
effective
Change the word
effectively
show examples
 in terms of time and cost efficiency.
Technology
Use synonyms
 nowadays with cheaper and easier access,
facilitate
Correct subject-verb agreement
facilitates
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 to do their
activities
Use synonyms
 more easily, faster, and cheaper.
For instance
Linking Words
, adults do not need to commute from their houses to go to the office where they work which
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 and money,
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 they can work remotely from their house and
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 an Internet connection which leads an efficient time and cost as they do not need to spend much time and money to travel for
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the use of
technology
Use synonyms
 has shifted the regular
activities
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 and reduced them
to interact
Change preposition
from interacting
show examples
 with each other, which can lead them to be individualistic and anti-social.
People
Use synonyms
 utilize
technology
Use synonyms
 for their daily
activities
Use synonyms
,
such
Linking Words
 as working, studying, or even shopping, which can impact social trends because it is shifted from the original way.
For instance
Linking Words
, children do not need to go to school to study,
instead
Linking Words
, they can remotely study from their houses using an Internet connection without meeting any of their friends physically. It is considered that it can lead children in society into individualistic and anti-social.
However
Linking Words
, the utilization of
technology
Use synonyms
 can still be controlled and managed by
people
Use synonyms
 to protect it from misuse. In conclusion, the convenience of using
technology
Use synonyms
 with cheaper and more accessible
can
Correct word choice
and can
show examples
 be more efficient for
people
Use synonyms
 to help them do their
activities
Use synonyms
. Yet
people
Use synonyms
 still have to manage and control to prevent excessive utilization of
technology
Use synonyms
 which can shift and impact their social lives.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammatical range accuracy
To improve clarity and sophistication, vary sentence structures and consistently use more complex grammatical forms.
grammatical range accuracy
Address minor grammatical and lexical errors. For instance, pay attention to subject-verb agreement, plural forms, and the use of prepositions.
task response
Develop each main idea further with more specific examples and extend the explanations. This will make your argument more robust and convincing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smoother to enhance the overall readability of the essay.
introduction conclusion
The introduction provides a clear context and states the writer’s stance on the topic.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's position.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • e-learning
  • accessibility
  • inclusive
  • productivity
  • personalized learning
  • disciplined routine
  • interpersonal skills
  • cybersecurity
  • sustainability
  • work-life balance
  • physical disabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: