Many people believe that it is very important to make large amounts of money, while others are satisfied to earn a comfortable living. Analyze each viewpoint and take a stand. Give specific reasons and examples for your position.
It is argued
wheither
people should settle for Correct your spelling
whether
less
earings or if they should work harder in order to make Change the quantifier
fewer
higher
amount of Add an article
a higher
income
. in
Capitalize word
In
this
essay i
will discuss both Change the capitalization
I
prespectives
and how it effects an individual's life in multiple aspects .
Correct your spelling
perspectives
first,
lets
start with people who Replace the word
let's
let us
incourages
the importance of a higher Correct your spelling
encourages
encourage
income
. they
believe that it is essential for them to make Capitalize word
They
high
salary . in my Add an article
a high
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
i
do believe it would improve someone's life Change the capitalization
I
such
as being able to take care of their famliy
,Correct your spelling
family
saving
up for Correct word choice
and saving
retirment
. Correct your spelling
retirement
however
, there is another side to this
prespective
if the intentions Correct your spelling
perspective
was
Change the verb form
were
primarly
focused on Correct your spelling
primarily
matrialestic
aspects Correct your spelling
materialistic
such
as having luxurious cars , houses
. that could lead to Correct word choice
and houses
an
unhealthy habits Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
for
instance,a person working extra hours to Add the comma(s)
, for
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
this
goal which can effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
phisycal
health .
Correct your spelling
physical
on the other hand
, people who suggest that having a stable minimum income
is acceptable . while
having this
mindset could improve someone's life by accepting what they already have , it is essential to not settle for less , and to always try to reach their highest potential therefore
have a higher income
.
in conclution
, there has to be a balance between wanting to gain higher Correct your spelling
conclusion
income
to improve their living but not in a way that let's
them Replace the word
lets
focusing
Wrong verb form
focus
primarly
on materials.Correct your spelling
primarily
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grammar
Make sure to proofread your work for spelling and grammatical errors. For example, 'wheither' should be 'whether,' 'incourages' should be 'encourages,' and 'phisycal' should be 'physical.'
examples
Include more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when mentioning that a higher income allows someone to save for retirement, provide an example of a real-life situation or a study that supports this.
clarity
Clarify your stance more clearly in the conclusion. The current conclusion talks about balance but does not clearly state your position on which side you lean towards.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in structuring your essay well.
ideas
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and show an understanding of both perspectives.
depth
Your essay attempts to tackle different aspects of the issue, such as family care, retirement savings, and the negative effects of materialism.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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