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Writing Samples /
Band 3

In recent years, "responsible tourists" have paid attention to preserving both cultures and environment of the places they visit. However, some people say that it is impossible to be a "responsible tourists". To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#years #tourists #attention #cultures #environment #places #visit #people
Some people suppose that paying attention to saving the environment and culture of tourist
places
 is important. At the same
time
Add a comma
time,
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 others guess that the environment is the only
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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purpose of
traveling
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travelling
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 and they have not
think
Wrong verb form
thought
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 about
preservation
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the preservation
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 of
places
Correct article usage
the places
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 of their visiting. I
am absolutely agree
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absolutely agree
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 with the extent of
importance
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the importance
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 of taking responsibility for your actions for several reasons.
For
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In
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 the beginning, I
assume
Wrong verb form
assumed
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 that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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cultural heritage,
as well as
Correct article usage
the environmental
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environmental
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environment
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, is one of the important parts of
humankind
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humankind's
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 history. It helps us to
grow up
Verb problem
raise
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 our children, with
understanding
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an understanding
the understanding
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 of
sequence
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the sequence
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 of events and their consequences.
Moreover
, most of the
governmens
Correct your spelling
government
governments
 all over the world are
invest
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investing
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 money to
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 historical
places
,
scientific
Correct word choice
and scientific
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researchs
Correct your spelling
research
 to scrutinize
of
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apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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history. It means that saving important
places
 is merely
respet
Correct your spelling
respect
for
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to
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 people's efforts.
Furthermore
,
intact
Correct article usage
an intact
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 environment is our greatest wealth. It signs our future,
health
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the health
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 of the next generation, surviving of humankind. There
were
Wrong verb form
have been
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 enough technological and
nature
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natural
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 disasters in the
last
 hundred years. It means that all of us have to think about surrounding natural and cultural objects, not only about ourselves and our pleasure. In conclusion, I want to add some advice to the world governments - saving environmental and cultural heritage is one of the most important tasks in our time, so we need to explain
importance
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the importance
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 of
this
 to
world
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the world
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 population.
Submitted by anastasia on

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task
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the argument and outlines what you will discuss in the essay.
task
Your main points should be elaborated with relevant examples or specific details to strengthen your argument.
cohesion
Maintain logical flow between your ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions.
cohesion
Expand on your conclusion briefly summarizing your main points rather than introducing a new idea.
task
You have demonstrated a clear understanding of the topic and the importance of both environmental and cultural preservation.
cohesion
Your essay contains a logical structure with distinct introductory, body, and concluding paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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