IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1

It is true that environmental issues such as pollution and climate change affecting citizens worldwide. Although global finding are made to reduce these problems the solutions are not helpful.

#pollution #climate #change #citizens
It is true that environmental issues
such
 as pollution and climate change
affecting
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
 citizens worldwide.
Although
 global
finding
Fix the agreement mistake
findings
show examples
 are made to reduce these problems the solutions are not helpful. It is sometimes argued that some educational subjects
such
 as physical exercises, art and music are
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 at school and students should learn only useful subjects of study. I completely agree
that
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the teaching of
educational
Add an article
an educational
the educational
show examples
 branch of study in school. These days, getting married is becoming more costly in many nations in comparison to the past. The reason for
this
 is competition in social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and people trying to show their wealth to everyone. Definitely,
this
 development is pessimistic.
This
 essay will explain the reason and outcomes in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses multiple topics in a disjointed manner. Consider focusing on one central topic and developing it fully before moving onto another. Structure your essay so that each paragraph supports the main topic.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces the main idea that will be discussed, and that your conclusion reiterates the main points discussed in the essay. Both the introduction and the conclusion need more clarity and cohesiveness.
supported main points
Support your points with more detailed examples and explanations. Ensure that each statement you make is followed by evidence or examples that make it clear and comprehensive.
task achievement
Your response to the prompt is somewhat fragmented. Make sure your essay completely responds to the question in a clear and structured manner. Focus on thoroughly discussing one topic before moving to the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make your ideas clearer by linking sentences and paragraphs more effectively. Use cohesive devices like conjunctions, transition words, and pronouns to connect your ideas smoothly.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to illustrate your points. Providing real-world scenarios or statistics can make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You have addressed several complex issues such as environmental problems, the importance of educational subjects and societal trends in marriage customs, which shows a broad understanding.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your writing contains some good vocabulary and shows an attempt at complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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