IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

1.The table below shows a survey of the proportion of adults in California by age group who enjoyed different types of leisure activities in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

1.The table below shows a survey of the proportion of adults in California by age group who enjoyed different types of leisure activities in 2011. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#survey #proportion #adults #california #age #group #leisure #activities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The table provides information about the percentage of adults across all
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 in California who enjoyed six different types of leisure activities in 2011. 25 It can be seen that the most popular activity across all
age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 is watching TV. Though there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 clear that
people
 over the
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
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 of 31, playing computer games had the lowest proportion
activities
Change preposition
of activities
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 across the three
ages group
Fix the agreement mistake
age groups
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. Undoubtedly, gardening was the slightest well-liked for the
age
 groups 18 to 30. 53
According to
 the figures, listening to music and playing computer games
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 the least interested in
people
 over the
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age
show examples
46
Change preposition
of 46
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 about 4% and 2% respectively.
While
 young
people
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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age
Replace the word
aged
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 18 to 30 tended to play more computer games at around 15 %. Interestingly, spending time with family and friends decreased as
people
 aged, going from almost 60% to 33%.
Likewise
, reading slightly reduced as
people
 aged,
however
, gardening as a leisure activity increased in popularity.
Overall
,
it is clear that
 young
people
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
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enjoyed
in
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apply
show examples
5 activities
excepted
Wrong verb form
except
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 gardening.
Moreover
, watching
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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 and gardening
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enjoyed
as well as
 listening to music
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
more
people
 as they get older.
Submitted by sunnyrogle22 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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