he tendency of news reporters in the media to focus more on problems and emergencies than on positive developments is harmful to the individuals and the society as a whole. To what extend do you agree or disagree?
It is claimed that
media
are more likely to concentrate on reporting news
that contain
emergency and negative information but not the positive ones about modernization is dangerous for Change the verb form
contains
the
society and Correct article usage
apply
people
. This
writer argue
that Change the verb form
argues
individual
should know about negative Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
news
in order to raise awareness but will not lead to any harmful consequences because of the media
’s notification.
It must be acknowledged that danger
like Fix the agreement mistake
dangers
disaster
, crime, etc, Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
which
can have a negative impact on Correct pronoun usage
apply
community
, causing more Add an article
the community
problem
to solve and Fix the agreement mistake
problems
overwhelm
the society system. To tackle Wrong verb form
overwhelming
with
Change preposition
apply
this
, the emergency news
is designed to report about
Change preposition
on
current
Add an article
the current
a current
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
about
these dangers, which Change preposition
with
is
predicted to create destruction Correct subject-verb agreement
are
among
the community. By doing Change preposition
in
this
, the media
can ensure people
’s safety by letting them and
have enough knowledge and preparation to cope with the concern, help reducing the consequences effectively. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, just about 10 hours before the biggest tropical storm approach
, the Wrong verb form
approached
Indonesia
Correct your spelling
Indonesian
media
has
reported the Unnecessary verb
apply
news
about it, help
reduce damage with only injured 5 citizens Fix the infinitive
to help
were
recorded.
Another reason is that the Unnecessary verb
apply
media
can realize what can the problems lead to, so they can adjust the news
just serious
enough to create recognition, but not chaos and too much Change the word
seriously
worries
among Fix the agreement mistake
worry
people
, which can lead to anti-social and critical reaction
toward the information. To do Fix the agreement mistake
reactions
this
, any negative news
will get a notification to discourage people
to follow
dangerous activitiesChange preposition
from following
,
or hide victims from some sensitive Remove the comma
apply
behaviors
like sexual harassment to get rid of all Change the spelling
behaviours
misunderstanding
. Take BBC Fix the agreement mistake
misunderstandings
news
Capitalize word
News
for instance
, they just report about the murder happened
in 1998 but not the exact process to not Correct pronoun usage
that happened
courage
anyone to follow.
In conclusion, Verb problem
encourage
although
there are some concerns that the negative consequences can have harmful
impact, it is obvious that the content that Add an article
a harmful
are
conveyed through Change the verb form
is
news
have
been controlled to not lead to any following behaviors or unexpected chaos among Correct subject-verb agreement
has
people
. However
, it can even ensure that people
know about the problem.Submitted by [email protected]
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Enhance your introduction to provide a clearer understanding of your stance at the beginning. Currently, the introduction is slightly confusing. Specify whether you agree or disagree with the statement clearly.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and reducing grammatical errors. For instance, 'help reducing the consequences' should be 'help reduce the consequences.' Better grammar will help in clarifying your points.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeated words and phrases to enhance readability. For example, 'danger, disaster, crime, etc.' can be rephrased to avoid repetition. Additionally, varying sentence structure will add more richness to your writing.
task achievement
The essay attempts to systematically present arguments and provide examples to support the main ideas, such as the Indonesian media reporting on a tropical storm.
task achievement
The points are mostly relevant to the topic, with examples provided, like the BBC news example, which helps clarify your argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a reasonable attempt to separate ideas into paragraphs and provide a conclusion that ties back to the main ideas discussed.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.