IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not in learning practical skills, upto what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The yield percentage of
Avicennia
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 marina
extracts
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 at different
maceration
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time
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times
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 and
organ
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organs
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 is presented in
Table
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 1. The highest yield of
Avicennia
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 marina was obtained from the leaves extracted for 72 hours
while
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 the lowest yield was found in the stem extracted for 24 hours. From the data obtained, it is evident that the
leaves
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leaf
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extracts
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 experienced a dramatic increase in yield percentage as the extraction
time
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 gets longer
while
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 the yield of stem
extracts
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 slightly increased over
time
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.
In addition
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,
leaves
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leaf
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extracts
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 have
higher
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a higher
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 yield compared to the stems from all three different
maceration
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time
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times
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.
This
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 could be explained by the similarity of the
compounds
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 and the used solvent in
the
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apply
show examples
terms of polarity properties. Leaves as an initial place to produce and accumulate a wide range of
compounds
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 before they are transported to other parts of the plant could
also
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affects
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affect
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 the high percentage of yield
produce
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produced
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 in leaves.
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This
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These
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 results are in agreement with Dewi et al. (2022)
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 reported that prolonged
maceration
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time
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 allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
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longer contact between the material and the solvent so that
compound
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the compound
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 extracted will be more variative.
Additionally
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, Permatasari et al. (2020) and Fajri et al. (2021) reported that yield extract will soar to the highest peak until it reaches the saturation point of the solution. In
this
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 present study, both leaves and
stems
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stem
show examples
extracts
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 showed an upward trend as they did not reach the saturation state. Qualitative (
Table
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 2) and quantitative analysis (
Table
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 3) were conducted to study the range of
compounds
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 of
Avicennia
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 marine at different
maceration
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Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
organ
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organs
show examples
. The results showed that
phenolic
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 and
flavonoid
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compounds
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 are present in all
extracts
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 of
Avicennia
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 marina, yet saponin
compounds
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 are not detected in both leaves and stems.
This
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 can occur because
phenolic
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 and
flavonoid
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compounds
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 have the same polarity with the solvent used, causing those
compounds
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 to dissolve easily in the solvent.
Linking Words
This
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These
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 findings are in line with previous
study
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studies
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such
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 as Fajri et al. (2021) who reported that
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saponins
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saponin
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saponins
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 belonging to
non-polar
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the non-polar
show examples
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compounds
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compound
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compounds
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 can not dissolve in
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apply
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the
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apply
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polar
solvent
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solvents
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 like methanol, ethanol, or water.
Similarly
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, Manurung et al. (2017) reported that
phenolic
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 and
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flavonoid
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flavonoids
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are
Wrong verb form
were
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 detected in all different parts of Ficus deltoidea extracted using methanol solvent,
while
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 the saponin
compounds
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 remained absent. The results obtained from qualitative analysis of phytochemical
compounds
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 among all
extracts
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 are shown in
Table
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 2. The total
phenolic
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 content (TPC) which experiences a steady increase in both leaves and stem extract ranges from 0.000221 to 0.000902 mg/g. Meanwhile, the total
flavonoid
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 content ranged from 0.000202 to 0.000905 mg/g.
In contrast
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 to
phenolic
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compounds
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, the total
flavonoid
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 content (TFC) in leaves and stems shows different responses as the extraction
time
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 increases. TFC in leaf
extracts
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 fluctuates over
time
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while
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 a slight drop is observed in the stem
extracts
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.

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task achievement
Your essay clearly presents data and trends, ensuring a robust Task Response. To further improve, make sure to clarify the significance of the findings in a broader context – explain why the data is important beyond just presenting the data itself. This can help in making the complete response more well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Structurally, your essay flows well with logical progression. However, a more explicit introduction could strengthen the cohesion. Start by briefly stating the overall topic and objective of your research. Similarly, a concise conclusion that sums up the findings and their implications would also enhance the coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly with the inclusion of data and references to previous studies.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure to your essay, with a focus on presenting and analyzing data, which aids in the reader's understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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