IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people say that in all levels of education from primary school to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not in learning practical skills, upto what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #levels #education #school #universities #time #facts #skills #upto
The yield percentage of
Avicennia
 marina
extracts
 at different
maceration
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
organ
Fix the agreement mistake
organs
show examples
 is presented in
Table
 1. The highest yield of
Avicennia
 marina was obtained from the leaves extracted for 72 hours
while
 the lowest yield was found in the stem extracted for 24 hours. From the data obtained, it is evident that the
leaves
Fix the agreement mistake
leaf
show examples
extracts
 experienced a dramatic increase in yield percentage as the extraction
time
 gets longer
while
 the yield of stem
extracts
 slightly increased over
time
.
In addition
,
leaves
Change the noun form
leaf
show examples
extracts
 have
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 yield compared to the stems from all three different
maceration
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
.
This
 could be explained by the similarity of the
compounds
 and the used solvent in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of polarity properties. Leaves as an initial place to produce and accumulate a wide range of
compounds
 before they are transported to other parts of the plant could
also
affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
 the high percentage of yield
produce
Wrong verb form
produced
show examples
 in leaves.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 results are in agreement with Dewi et al. (2022)
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 reported that prolonged
maceration
time
 allows
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
longer contact between the material and the solvent so that
compound
Correct article usage
the compound
show examples
 extracted will be more variative.
Additionally
, Permatasari et al. (2020) and Fajri et al. (2021) reported that yield extract will soar to the highest peak until it reaches the saturation point of the solution. In
this
 present study, both leaves and
stems
Change the noun form
stem
show examples
extracts
 showed an upward trend as they did not reach the saturation state. Qualitative (
Table
 2) and quantitative analysis (
Table
 3) were conducted to study the range of
compounds
 of
Avicennia
 marine at different
maceration
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
organ
Fix the agreement mistake
organs
show examples
. The results showed that
phenolic
 and
flavonoid
compounds
 are present in all
extracts
 of
Avicennia
 marina, yet saponin
compounds
 are not detected in both leaves and stems.
This
 can occur because
phenolic
 and
flavonoid
compounds
 have the same polarity with the solvent used, causing those
compounds
 to dissolve easily in the solvent.
This
Change the determiner
These
show examples
 findings are in line with previous
study
Change the noun form
studies
show examples
such
 as Fajri et al. (2021) who reported that
Fix the agreement mistake
saponins
show examples
saponin
Fix the agreement mistake
saponins
show examples
 belonging to
non-polar
Add an article
the non-polar
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
compounds
show examples
compound
Fix the agreement mistake
compounds
show examples
 can not dissolve in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
polar
solvent
Fix the agreement mistake
solvents
show examples
 like methanol, ethanol, or water.
Similarly
, Manurung et al. (2017) reported that
phenolic
 and
flavonoid
Fix the agreement mistake
flavonoids
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 detected in all different parts of Ficus deltoidea extracted using methanol solvent,
while
 the saponin
compounds
 remained absent. The results obtained from qualitative analysis of phytochemical
compounds
 among all
extracts
 are shown in
Table
 2. The total
phenolic
 content (TPC) which experiences a steady increase in both leaves and stem extract ranges from 0.000221 to 0.000902 mg/g. Meanwhile, the total
flavonoid
 content ranged from 0.000202 to 0.000905 mg/g.
In contrast
 to
phenolic
compounds
, the total
flavonoid
 content (TFC) in leaves and stems shows different responses as the extraction
time
 increases. TFC in leaf
extracts
 fluctuates over
time
while
 a slight drop is observed in the stem
extracts
.
Submitted by k a l l a on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay clearly presents data and trends, ensuring a robust Task Response. To further improve, make sure to clarify the significance of the findings in a broader context – explain why the data is important beyond just presenting the data itself. This can help in making the complete response more well-rounded.
coherence cohesion
Structurally, your essay flows well with logical progression. However, a more explicit introduction could strengthen the cohesion. Start by briefly stating the overall topic and objective of your research. Similarly, a concise conclusion that sums up the findings and their implications would also enhance the coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant and specific examples to support your points, particularly with the inclusion of data and references to previous studies.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure to your essay, with a focus on presenting and analyzing data, which aids in the reader's understanding.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: