Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people.

Today, in many
countries
longivity
Correct your spelling
longevity
is
inreasing
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increasing
than ever before. Somes
considired
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considered
this
trend
bring
Change the verb form
brings
show examples
more
diadvanties tto
Correct your spelling
disadvantages to
governments
while
Others believe there are advantages to having a greater number of elderly
people
in society.
According to
some of the ideas, elderly
people
would have huge financial concerns for the government. despite they have spent their life and energy and how much paid taxes in their own
countries
.
Also
, the negatives argue that children and adults spend more time with them rather than learning new skills or something that can handle their careers.
In addition
, it can affect to country's prospectivity On the other side of the coin, longevity is the symbol of enhanced technology medicine, and democracy all of these aspects contribute to it. Longevity is increasing mostly in developed
countries
such
as Japan, the USA, and Germany. In those
countries
Add a comma
countries,
show examples
caretakers come from developing
countries
and they serve
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
elder
people
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
contributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
contribute
show examples
to
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
travel, it
improves
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improve
show examples
international relationships among the
countries
.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
Older
people
share
thier knowlege
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their knowledge
and
expriense
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experience
experiences
with
Correct article usage
the youngs
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youngs
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young
show examples
. Senior
people
have long
period
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periods
show examples
experience
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of experience
show examples
and manner they can
easy
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easily
show examples
tackle any problem
their
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in their
show examples
field. One fact about
nobel
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Nobel
show examples
price winners
age
Verb problem
is
show examples
thier
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their
age
avarage
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average
63 years old , Leonid Hurwick who was won
Correct article usage
the nobel
show examples
nobel
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Nobel
show examples
price at his 90
also
one example Warren Buffelt who is 93 years old man
control
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controls
show examples
the world stock marking
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
means he
control
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controls
show examples
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
ecomony
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economy
.
Aging
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Ageing
show examples
does not matter for
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
If
aging
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ageing
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
increasing
inrcesing
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increasing
would examples
also
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increase
increse
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increase
To
cunclude
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conclude
,
Correct article usage
a
show examples
Tree can not live without its roots, If a tree's roots how much would more and more
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
powerful it helps to tree to stand
Change preposition
for
show examples
more time. and it can respond
any
Change preposition
to any
show examples
diases
Correct your spelling
disease
.
olders
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holders
look like
or
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
roots, our blood
vessel
Fix the agreement mistake
vessels
show examples
we
Correct your spelling
can't
cant
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can't
show examples
live without them
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grammar
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vocabulary
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging and varied.
introduction
The introduction presents a clear outline of the topic and sets up the discussion effectively.
task response
The essay presents both perspectives regarding the issue of an aging population in a balanced way, which is commendable.
examples
Including specific examples (like the Nobel Prize winners) adds depth to the argument and makes it more persuasive.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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