Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people.

#world #people #say #population #governments #society

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Today, in many

countries

longivity

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longevity

inreasing

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increasing

than ever before. Somes

considired

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considered

this

trend

bring

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brings

show examples

diadvanties tto

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disadvantages to

governments

while

Others believe there are advantages to having a greater number of elderly

people

in society.

According to

some of the ideas, elderly

people

would have huge financial concerns for the government. despite they have spent their life and energy and how much paid taxes in their own

countries

Also

, the negatives argue that children and adults spend more time with them rather than learning new skills or something that can handle their careers.

In addition

, it can affect to country's prospectivity On the other side of the coin, longevity is the symbol of enhanced technology medicine, and democracy all of these aspects contribute to it. Longevity is increasing mostly in developed

countries

such

as Japan, the USA, and Germany. In those

countries

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countries,

show examples

caretakers come from developing

countries

and they serve

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apply

show examples

elder

people

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apply

show examples

contributes

Correct subject-verb agreement

contribute

show examples

working

Wrong verb form

work

show examples

travel, it

improves

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improve

show examples

international relationships among the

countries

Also

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Also,

show examples

Older

people

thier knowlege

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their knowledge

and

expriense

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experience

experiences

with

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the youngs

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youngs

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young

show examples

. Senior

people

have long

period

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periods

show examples

experience

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of experience

show examples

and manner they can

easy

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easily

show examples

tackle any problem

their

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in their

show examples

field. One fact about

nobel

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Nobel

show examples

price winners

age

Verb problem

show examples

thier

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their

age

avarage

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average

63 years old , Leonid Hurwick who was won

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the nobel

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nobel

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Nobel

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price at his 90

also

one example Warren Buffelt who is 93 years old man

control

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controls

show examples

the world stock marking

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apply

show examples

means he

control

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controls

show examples

world

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the world

show examples

ecomony

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economy

Aging

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Ageing

show examples

does not matter for

community

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the community

show examples

aging

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ageing

show examples

Correct your spelling

increasing

inrcesing

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increasing

would examples

also

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increase

increse

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increase

cunclude

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conclude

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show examples

Tree can not live without its roots, If a tree's roots how much would more and more

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

powerful it helps to tree to stand

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for

show examples

more time. and it can respond

any

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to any

show examples

diases

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disease

olders

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holders

look like

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

roots, our blood

vessel

Fix the agreement mistake

vessels

show examples

Correct your spelling

can't

cant

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can't

show examples

live without them

Submitted by [email protected] on Fri Jun 14 2024

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grammar

It would be helpful to ensure the essay is free of grammatical errors and typing mistakes. Such errors can make the reading process difficult.

vocabulary

Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging and varied.

introduction

The introduction presents a clear outline of the topic and sets up the discussion effectively.

task response

The essay presents both perspectives regarding the issue of an aging population in a balanced way, which is commendable.

examples

Including specific examples (like the Nobel Prize winners) adds depth to the argument and makes it more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
49
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

300 words

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Around the world, people are now living longer than ever before in the past. Some say an aging population creates problems for governments. Others believe there are benefits to society having more elderly people.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, marriages are arranged by the parents but in other cases, people choose their own marriage partner. Discuss both systems and state what do you think is better?

All students should study a foreign language in school, starting in their earliest grades. To What extent do you agree or disagree with this statement.

There are severe social consequences to housing shortages in cities and only the government can solve these problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?