It is important to give children an opportunity to become independent and make decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #opportunity #decisions #age

People hold distinctive opinions regarding a debate which is linked to

youngsters

Correct word choice

whether youngsters

show examples

should be self-sufficient or not. Some people claim that

children

should be independent and make their own decisions,

while

others think that kids should not be independent. In my opinion,

athough

Correct your spelling

although

though

there are plausible arguments to support

this

perspective, there are

also

reasons to disagree with it. The major reason why some people are in favour of the

independency

Correct your spelling

independence

show examples

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

is that they have a chance to gain a variety of knowledge and

informations

Change the wording

information

pieces of information

show examples

about

life

and their

environments

Fix the agreement mistake

environment

show examples

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, they can recognise themselves and they gain many skills

such

as problem-solving, social connections, and increased brain function.

Furthermore

, with the beneficial effects of these skills, they can

also

have a successful business and family

life

. In

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

light of

this

reality, kids who grow up independently can live a fulfilling

life

in the long run because of the freedom of expression and decision.

For instance

, a child who is interested in nature can be a naturalist when he or she

grow

Change the verb form

grows

show examples

up.

In contrast

to the argument clarified above, there is

also

a significant reason to be against the idea that

children

should be independent and make decisions from

early

Add an article

an early

show examples

age. The attitudes of

parents

towards their

children

vary from one culture to another.

Besides

, every

parents

Change to a singular noun

parent

show examples

want

Correct subject-verb agreement

wants

show examples

to see their

children's

Change noun form

children

show examples

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

be the best in their school or business

life

;

therefore

, they share their own experiences with their

children

Parents

and

children

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

collaborate with each other and

parents

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

create awareness about

life

To conclude

, having elucidated both perspectives, I think it can be concluded that ignoring the vital points claimed by any of the two sides above would result in undesirable circumstances.

Submitted by sevdetekin17 on Sat Jun 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Be sure to clearly state your position in the introduction and conclusion. This helps the reader understand your stance throughout the essay.

task achievement

Use more specific examples to support your points. Examples make your arguments stronger and more relatable.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the ideas flow logically throughout the essay. This will improve the overall coherence.

task achievement

Be careful with spelling and grammar errors. Even small mistakes can distract the reader and detract from your overall message.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which is important for structuring your essay.

task achievement

You present arguments for both perspectives, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

292 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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It is important to give children an opportunity to become independent and make decisions from early age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

The images below explain the process of how pollutants from modern life becomeacid rain that in turn pollutes the environment and the food chain.

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Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative effect?