Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities

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In modern society, all individuals must contribute plenty of

time

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to their jobs and work, leaving them only a minimal amount of

time

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for other

activities

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like entertainment. Some people claim that there are benefits of having an excessive workload rather than drawbacks. In

this

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essay, several compelling reasons for the downsides exceeding the advantages will be discussed in detail below. First of all, a rise in living standards from higher income levels can be considered a significant benefit.

Due to

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national laws and legislation, employees working additional

hours

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must be paid a higher salary and more commission to compensate for their extra contribution, meaning that their total income will be increased

accordingly

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This

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is to say, having more financial resources enables people to purchase superior products and enjoy more luxury services, and

as a result

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, their standards of living will be improved with increasing working

hours

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. When it comes to limited

time

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for leisure

activities

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, not only do people begin suffering from severe mental illness

such

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as depression, but there is even evidence that physical health will be impaired dramatically over

time

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. The overwhelming stress from work would definitely culminate in emotional damage and dissatisfaction if workers did not have sufficient

time

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to enjoy themselves in leisure

activities

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Furthermore

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, working overtime without any forms of movement,

such

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as jogging and exercise, is harmful to people’s body conditions and

therefore

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they will be more likely to be adversely affected by infectious diseases. All in all,

although

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the

overall

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living standards are improved by working more

hours

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, people’s mental and physical health will potentially become worse and weaker. After looking at these views, it is of paramount importance to strike a balance between appropriate working

hours

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and having leisure

activities

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in daily life.

Submitted by bonohui26 on Sat Jun 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay does present clear and logical ideas, but it can benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points. Adding data, anecdotes, or case studies could strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Although your ideas are well-organized, using more transition words could make your essay flow even better.

task achievement

The essay provides a thorough response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of long working hours.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand the overall argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

292 words

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Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people believe that countries should produce food for the whole population and import as little food as possible. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People, who go to live in other countries should follow the customs and tradition of the new country, to what extent to do you agree or disagree?

People believe that some individuals are born with leadership skills, while others think that leadership skills can be made. Discuss both views.

With advancing technology, the development of automated vehicles is becoming reality. In your opinion, what are the advantages and disadvantages of self-driving vehicles?