Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
In modern society, all individuals must contribute plenty of
time
to their jobs and work, leaving them only a minimal amount of time
for other activities
like entertainment. Some people claim that there are benefits of having an excessive workload rather than drawbacks. In this
essay, several compelling reasons for the downsides exceeding the advantages will be discussed in detail below.
First of all, a rise in living standards from higher income levels can be considered a significant benefit. Due to
national laws and legislation, employees working additional hours
must be paid a higher salary and more commission to compensate for their extra contribution, meaning that their total income will be increased accordingly
. This
is to say, having more financial resources enables people to purchase superior products and enjoy more luxury services, and as a result
, their standards of living will be improved with increasing working hours
.
When it comes to limited time
for leisure activities
, not only do people begin suffering from severe mental illness such
as depression, but there is even evidence that physical health will be impaired dramatically over time
. The overwhelming stress from work would definitely culminate in emotional damage and dissatisfaction if workers did not have sufficient time
to enjoy themselves in leisure activities
. Furthermore
, working overtime without any forms of movement, such
as jogging and exercise, is harmful to people’s body conditions and therefore
they will be more likely to be adversely affected by infectious diseases.
All in all, although
the overall
living standards are improved by working more hours
, people’s mental and physical health will potentially become worse and weaker. After looking at these views, it is of paramount importance to strike a balance between appropriate working hours
and having leisure activities
in daily life.Submitted by bonohui26 on
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task achievement
Your essay does present clear and logical ideas, but it can benefit from more specific examples to illustrate the points. Adding data, anecdotes, or case studies could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Although your ideas are well-organized, using more transition words could make your essay flow even better.
task achievement
The essay provides a thorough response to the task, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of long working hours.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively summarize the main points of the essay, making it easy for the reader to understand the overall argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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