As transportation and housing problems increase in many cities, some governments are encouraging businesses to move to rural areas. Do you think the benefits outweigh the disadvantages?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
contemporary world, industrialisation plays an integral role in the development of the country. There are uncounted advantages and disadvantages of motivating businesses to shift to suburban
areas
to overcome the challenges of traffic and dwelling issues in metropolitan cities. I think the benefits of
this
trend outnumber the drawbacks which will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
with, moving business to rural regions can reduce traffic congestion and overpopulation in urban
ceners
Correct your spelling
centres
. Ultimately,
this
can lead to a better quality of life for city dwellers, with less pollution and fewer traffic jams.
Moreover
, for some employees, relocating to rural
areas
can increase their standard of living
due to
less stress, lower cost of living, and a closer connection to nature.
Additionally
, shifting business can stimulate economic development in suburban
areas
, creating
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
opportunities and improving infrastructure.
For example
, more and more people are moving to urban
areas
to make more money and enjoy
amenities
Correct article usage
the amenities
show examples
and lifestyle of cities.
Hence
, with
this
trend, people need not
to
Remove the word
apply
show examples
shift to bigger cities and it can lead to a more balanced economic distribution across the country.
On the contrary
, it has its own share of flaws. Rural
areas
might lack the necessary infrastructure and resources that businesses rely on.
As a result
,
this
could lead to additional costs for businesses to either develop
this
infrastructure or
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
adapt their operations.
Likewise
, adapting to rural settings may present challenges,
such
as adjusting
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
show examples
chain and attracting talent who may prefer
urban
Add an article
an urban
show examples
lifestyle.
Consequently
,
this
could lead to initial resistance from employees and logistical issues.
To conclude
,
although
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
this
shift definitely has its own flaws,
this
offers certain advantages.
Hence
, it has to be done with the best possible approach to achieve success.
Submitted by krnveerrsingh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure to enhance the clarity and sharpness of your main points, making your arguments stand out more vividly for the reader. Sometimes, the ideas presented can seem general, thus offering more concrete and specific examples can make them more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the logical flow of your arguments. Ensuring each point naturally leads to the next can significantly improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Enhance transitions between paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow of information. This can help readers better follow your train of thought and understand the connections between your points.
coherence cohesion
The introduction effectively sets the stage for the discussion with a clear focus on the topic. The conclusion summarizes the main arguments and reinforces the position taken, which are essential elements of a well-structured essay.
task achievement
You have successfully identified and explained both benefits and drawbacks of the trend, providing a balanced view before stating your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs which makes it easier to read and understand. Your point that business relocation can lead to a balanced economic distribution across the country is particularly insightful.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • urban centers
  • overpopulation
  • traffic congestion
  • quality of life
  • economic development
  • job opportunities
  • balanced economic distribution
  • sustainable expansion
  • environmental degradation
  • supply chains
  • logistical issues
  • cost of living
  • urban amenities
  • infrastructure
  • resource availability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: