Some people think that students do not respect their teachers as a few decades earlier students used to do. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

[١٥/‏٦ ١١:٢٤ ص] I . B:
To sum up
, there is a strong correlation between law and social problem because the law itself is deal with the difficulties that face population in the particular countries.
Then
, the legal rules come from the behaviours that accepted by societies which known as a custom;
furthermore
, custom is the main sources of all branches of law either international or municipal laws , either civil, criminal, commercial laws.the behaviours accepted by the communities are developing consistently;so, laws and regulations cannot cover all these developments and that lead to an important role played by other factors of community like organisations, volunteers ,and charities. Indeed, there are lots of challenges facing society today need to deal with it through other components of society, these problem like climate change and female gential mutilation. [١٥/‏٦ ١١:٣٠ ص] I . B: Both problems solved through awareness of society,
for instance
in climate change the international organisations have the obligation to clarify to the world the risk of the global warming and the problems which is caused by
this
problems;
in addition
,
also
the educated people in the developing countries have an important role to combat the FGM. [١٥/‏٦ ١١:٣٣ ص] I . B:
In addition
, the local councils in some areas playing a vital role to achieve justice specific the petty crimes.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay appears to be lacking a clear structure.
task achievement
Develop your main points thoroughly with relevant examples and explanations. It would be beneficial to expand on each point to make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your ideas more explicit and connected. Using linking words and phrases can help achieve this.
task achievement
You have some strong points related to the importance of law and societal factors in addressing social problems.
task achievement
Your essay shows an awareness of global issues like climate change and FGM, which demonstrates a good understanding of relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
You have included a variety of points which is excellent for demonstrating a broad understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: