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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table data below shows the world regions Internet users. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table data below shows the world regions Internet users. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The table presents the number of
internet
Use synonyms
 regions in
worlds
Change the noun form
world
show examples
 regions. We can separate all of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 areas
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 2 groups developing and developed to
Correct your spelling
understand
undertand
Correct your spelling
understand
they
Correct word choice
that they
show examples
 are connected
To begin
Linking Words
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can say that it is
easily
Change the word
easy
show examples
 to recognise a pattern that can be traced by comparing the number of people with
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
 with the
growth
Use synonyms
 of
Internet
Use synonyms
 use
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in undeveloped regions with the lowest percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
 with
Internet
Use synonyms
access
Use synonyms
, the greatest increase in
Internet
Use synonyms
 development and increase in
users
Use synonyms
 can be observed In
this
Linking Words
 way,
according to
Linking Words
 the data in the table, we can say the highest
growth
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 (2000-2010) was in Africa 2.421% in the developing region,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
growth
Use synonyms
 was in North America
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is developed region.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
North America
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the
highet
Correct your spelling
highest
 percentage of
internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 as
percent
Add an article
a percent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 (78%). At that time
In
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Africa
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the lowest
Correct your spelling
per cent
percen
Correct your spelling
percentage
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
users
Use synonyms
, only 10% of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 had
access
Use synonyms
 to the
Internet
Use synonyms
 In conclusion, I want to say that their connection is expressed in the fact that the greater the percentage of the
population
Use synonyms
has
Correct pronoun usage
that has
show examples
access
Use synonyms
 to the
Internet
Use synonyms
, the smaller the increase in new
users
Use synonyms
 and
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, we can conclude that in developing
regios
Correct your spelling
regions
region
, the
growth
Use synonyms
 of new
Internet
Use synonyms
users
Use synonyms
 will grow

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Vocabulary: Replace the words internet, access, growth, population, users with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
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