Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

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Nowadays,

while

Linking Words

some

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

tend to educate other subjects

in addition

Linking Words

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects others opine that it is

essensial

Correct your spelling

essential

to give all energy to studying for a qualification. In my opinion, the

fisrt

Correct your spelling

first

view contains some more inherent advantages than the second.

Firstly

Linking Words

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

should try to be useful

for

Change preposition

show examples

all

society

Change preposition

of society

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, medical

students

Use synonyms

can study extra fields like innovations in precision medicine, which tailors treatment to individual genetic profiles, and regenerative medicine, which employs stem cell technology to repair damaged tissues,

eptiomize

Correct your spelling

epitomize

epitomizes

epitomized

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge progress.

Furtheremore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the integration of artificial intelligence in diagnostics and robotic surgery has

revolutionaized

Correct your spelling

revolutionised

patient care, ensuring unprecedented accuracy and efficiency.

Therefore

Linking Words

, medical

students

Use synonyms

could promote their

breackthroughs

Correct your spelling

breakthroughs

breakthrough

in other medical science. On the flip side, if

students

Use synonyms

only tend to get good scores and

then

Linking Words

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

pass

university

Use synonyms

, they

definietly

Correct your spelling

definitely

waste all

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

and

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

because they follow

Change the article

show examples

unsuitable goal.

In contrast

Linking Words

, they can set

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

high goals for them.

For example

Linking Words

engineer

Replace the word

engineering

show examples

students

Use synonyms

in addition

Linking Words

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

major can search and study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

renewable energy sources which can play a vital role in reducing pollution and promoting sustainable growth like advances in solar, wind, and

hidroelectric

Correct your spelling

hydroelectric

power that have decreased reliance on fossil fuels, thereby diminishing greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution.

Additionally

Linking Words

, these developments not only protect the environment but

also

Linking Words

boost the economy by creating new jobs in the green sector. In conclusion, after analysis

both

Change preposition

of both

show examples

of the

argumants

Correct your spelling

arguments

argument

it is not hard to see that learning new

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

university

Use synonyms

students

Use synonyms

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

brought ease and

confort

Correct your spelling

comfort

for

Change preposition

show examples

society.

However

Linking Words

, other

students

Use synonyms

ought to consider

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

future

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to only a good score.

hs.abdolhay70Sat Jun 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Aim to improve the logical flow between your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay touches upon relevant points, it sometimes lacks smooth transitions and clarity. Work on using more cohesive devices like linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.

task achievement

Some ideas introduced in the essay need more detailed explanations. When you present examples, ensure they are deeply connected to the main argument and are elaborated thoroughly. Avoid vague statements and provide comprehensive reasoning for each point you make.

language accuracy

Pay attention to grammar, word choice, and spelling. Although minor errors won't heavily impact your score, frequent mistakes can distract the reader. For instance, ensure the correct spelling of words like 'essential,' 'first,' 'epitomize,' 'furthermore,' 'regenerative,' 'revolutionized,' 'breakthroughs,' 'flip side,' 'definitely,' and 'arguments.'

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear effort to address the prompt and offers valid arguments for both perspectives. This balanced approach is commendable and shows your ability to consider multiple viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-defined. It's evident that you understand the importance of framing your essay with these components, making your argument more robust and easier to follow.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples, such as advancements in medicine and renewable energy, serves to illustrate your points effectively. These examples help ground your arguments in real-world applications.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Your opinion

A report indicated that many children between 7 and 11 years old watch television and/or play video games too much. How does the problem affect? What measures can be taken to control it?

Some people think that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people belive that too many resources and attention are devoted to the protection of wild animals and birds. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the future, nobody will buy printed nwespapers or books because they will be able to read everything they wnat online without paying. To what extenddo you agree or disagree with this statement.