Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

#university #students #subjects #addition #time #attention #qualification

Nowadays,

while

some

university

students

tend to educate other subjects

in addition

main

Correct article usage

the main

show examples

subjects others opine that it is

essensial

Correct your spelling

essential

to give all energy to studying for a qualification. In my opinion, the

fisrt

Correct your spelling

first

view contains some more inherent advantages than the second.

Firstly

university

students

should try to be useful

for

Change preposition

show examples

all

society

Change preposition

of society

show examples

For instance

, medical

students

can study extra fields like innovations in precision medicine, which tailors treatment to individual genetic profiles, and regenerative medicine, which employs stem cell technology to repair damaged tissues,

eptiomize

Correct your spelling

epitomize

epitomizes

epitomized

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cutting-edge progress.

Furtheremore

Correct your spelling

Furthermore

, the integration of artificial intelligence in diagnostics and robotic surgery has

revolutionaized

Correct your spelling

revolutionised

patient care, ensuring unprecedented accuracy and efficiency.

Therefore

, medical

students

could promote their

breackthroughs

Correct your spelling

breakthroughs

breakthrough

in other medical science. On the flip side, if

students

only tend to get good scores and

then

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

pass

university

, they

definietly

Correct your spelling

definitely

waste all

time

Correct pronoun usage

their time

show examples

and

fund

Fix the agreement mistake

funds

show examples

because they follow

Change the article

show examples

unsuitable goal.

In contrast

, they can set

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

high goals for them.

For example

engineer

Replace the word

engineering

show examples

students

in addition

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

major can search and study

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

renewable energy sources which can play a vital role in reducing pollution and promoting sustainable growth like advances in solar, wind, and

hidroelectric

Correct your spelling

hydroelectric

power that have decreased reliance on fossil fuels, thereby diminishing greenhouse gas emissions and air pollution.

Additionally

, these developments not only protect the environment but

also

boost the economy by creating new jobs in the green sector. In conclusion, after analysis

both

Change preposition

of both

show examples

of the

argumants

Correct your spelling

arguments

argument

it is not hard to see that learning new

subject

Fix the agreement mistake

subjects

show examples

university

students

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

brought ease and

confort

Correct your spelling

comfort

for

Change preposition

show examples

society.

However

, other

students

ought to consider

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

future

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to only a good score.

Submitted by hs.abdolhay70 on Sat Jun 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Aim to improve the logical flow between your ideas and paragraphs. While your essay touches upon relevant points, it sometimes lacks smooth transitions and clarity. Work on using more cohesive devices like linking words and phrases to better connect your thoughts.

task achievement

Some ideas introduced in the essay need more detailed explanations. When you present examples, ensure they are deeply connected to the main argument and are elaborated thoroughly. Avoid vague statements and provide comprehensive reasoning for each point you make.

language accuracy

Pay attention to grammar, word choice, and spelling. Although minor errors won't heavily impact your score, frequent mistakes can distract the reader. For instance, ensure the correct spelling of words like 'essential,' 'first,' 'epitomize,' 'furthermore,' 'regenerative,' 'revolutionized,' 'breakthroughs,' 'flip side,' 'definitely,' and 'arguments.'

task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear effort to address the prompt and offers valid arguments for both perspectives. This balanced approach is commendable and shows your ability to consider multiple viewpoints.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-defined. It's evident that you understand the importance of framing your essay with these components, making your argument more robust and easier to follow.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples, such as advancements in medicine and renewable energy, serves to illustrate your points effectively. These examples help ground your arguments in real-world applications.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Broaden
Perspectives
Specialize
Critical thinking
Problem-solving skills
Career success
Interdisciplinary connections
Structured path
Clear goals
Creativity
Innovation
Academic credibility
Recognition
Balance
Exploring

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Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people view teenage conflict with their parents as a necessary part of growing up, whilst others see it as something negative which should be avoided. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?

Children brought up in families with less money are better prepared for life than those from wealthy families. To what extent do you agree or disagree?