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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the population figures for different type of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012.

The graph below shows the population figures for different type of turtles in India from 1980 to 2012.
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The given graph illustrates the
population
Use synonyms
 of three turtle species in India between 1980 to 2012. Obviously, the significant rise
Olive
Change preposition
in Olive
show examples
Ridely
Correct your spelling
Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
has been
show examples
 seen for
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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almost three decades. A fluctuation trend is depicted for the mean
population
Use synonyms
 of all species.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 its maximum level is 115
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1987, the minimum is seen
just
Change preposition
as just
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 near 100
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the year 2003.
However
Linking Words
, the Green Turtle
similarly
Linking Words
 has a
fluctute
Correct your spelling
fluctuate
 trend, which
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
ranged
Wrong verb form
ranges
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 between 90 to 110 in
this
Linking Words
 period of time. A significant rise is observed for Olive Ridley
Turtles
Use synonyms
, which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started from 100 to almost 130.
In addition
Linking Words
, it has the highest
population
Use synonyms
 among the other types,
which
Correct your spelling
with
show examples
its
Change the word
a
show examples
 maximum level is
near
Change the word
nearly
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
140,
although
Linking Words
 Leatherback
Turtles
Use synonyms
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
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population
Use synonyms
. The trend depicts the
drasticall
Correct your spelling
drastically
drastic
decreased
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
 in Leatherback
Turtles
Use synonyms
inhabitatns
Correct your spelling
inhabitants
 in the given country. Not only
do
Verb problem
has
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 decreased for three decades, but
also
Linking Words
 the number
is
Wrong verb form
has also
show examples
 seen
half
Fix the infinitive
to half
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 years.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population, turtles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "depicted" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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