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Writing Samples
Band 1.5

Revenue sources and expenditures of a USA Charity in one year,2016

#revenue #sources #expenditures #usa #charity #year
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The chart below gives information about the quantity of expenditure and income which
kids charity
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Kids Charity
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 gained in the USA during the annual turnover in 2016. Looking at an
overall
 structure it is
readyly
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readily
apparant
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apparent
 that the highest revenue
sources
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source
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is
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are
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 donated food and the most preferred
expenditures
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expenditure
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 is program services.
However
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However,
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 the lowest income source is government grants when the least preferred expenses
is
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are
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 management and general. Looking at the pie chart in more detail it is clearly seen that the second most common revenue source is community contributions
whereas
 in expenses the second proportion is fundraising.
Finally
 the
last
 part of
incomes
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income
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 namely program revenue indicated
in
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is
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 2.2
percent
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per cent
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. Comparing
Correct article usage
the
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total amount among both pie charts it is apparent that
total
Correct article usage
the total
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 annual turnover income slightly exceeds the expenses in 2016.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

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coherence cohesion
Work on the conclusion to summarize the main points effectively. An effective conclusion enhances coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data from the pie chart to enhance the strength of your arguments and support your main points.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the main sources of revenue and expenditure of the charity.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logical and it is easy to follow the argument progression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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