IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

Revenue sources and expenditures of a USA Charity in one year,2016

#revenue #sources #expenditures #usa #charity #year
The chart below gives information about the quantity of expenditure and income which
kids charity
Correct your spelling
Kids Charity
show examples
 gained in the USA during the annual turnover in 2016. Looking at an
overall
 structure it is
readyly
Correct your spelling
readily
apparant
Correct your spelling
apparent
 that the highest revenue
sources
Fix the agreement mistake
source
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 donated food and the most preferred
expenditures
Fix the agreement mistake
expenditure
show examples
 is program services.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 the lowest income source is government grants when the least preferred expenses
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 management and general. Looking at the pie chart in more detail it is clearly seen that the second most common revenue source is community contributions
whereas
 in expenses the second proportion is fundraising.
Finally
 the
last
 part of
incomes
Fix the agreement mistake
income
show examples
 namely program revenue indicated
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 2.2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Comparing
Correct article usage
the
show examples
total amount among both pie charts it is apparent that
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 annual turnover income slightly exceeds the expenses in 2016.
Submitted by ayshanngurbanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on the conclusion to summarize the main points effectively. An effective conclusion enhances coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and data from the pie chart to enhance the strength of your arguments and support your main points.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the main sources of revenue and expenditure of the charity.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure is logical and it is easy to follow the argument progression.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!