IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and news events. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

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A lot of people all over the world spend
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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several hours daily
through out
Correct your spelling
throughout
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 social media
for
Change preposition
to
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connection
Replace the word
connect
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 with others and keep abreast of events. I assume that implementation of
this
Linking Words
 technology has both advantages and disadvantages, and to
say
Verb problem
be
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 honest it's one of the paramount questions of modern psychology. Let's start with
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
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. First of all - the transparent boards. Our huge world
have been became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 tiny. We can talk to our family members
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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 have been living in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
country
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countries
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 in real time and
to
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apply
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see them. We can work in
the
Correct article usage
an
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 international company, be at home, and arrange meetings with our colleagues from around the world. We can be aware of
Linking Words
last
Correct word choice
the latest
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 news.
On the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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 we can see plenty of disadvantages. Mainly
of
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apply
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them
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apply
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- nowadays addiction to
on-line
Correct your spelling
online
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 games and
to
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apply
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social media became
the
Correct article usage
a
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 real health disorder
few
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a few
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 years ago. It
have
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has
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 been treated
as well as
Linking Words
 other kinds of addiction (alcohol, drugs etc.). The communication skills of face-to-face companionship of young people have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased sharply. Children have no abilities to develop
self entertaining
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self-entertaining
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 off-line. Their mothers have no idea what to do with the children
,
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apply
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 if a gadget is not working.
On
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In
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 conclusion, I have to say that in my opinion, social media is very important and helpful, but we need to
aware
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be aware
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at
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of
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 the consequences of overuse, and
to
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apply
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try to evade them.

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task achievement
Try to provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific ways people use social media for work or the kinds of health issues related to social media addiction.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by using more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. For example, use phrases like 'Moreover,' or 'In contrast,' to guide the reader through your argument.
general advice
A few grammatical errors are present that need correction. For example, 'a several hours' should be 'several hours,' and 'boards' should be 'borders.' Work on improving grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the topic and your stance, which is important for setting up your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and emphasizes the balance you see between advantages and disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global village
  • real-time communication
  • cyberbullying
  • digital marketing
  • networking
  • data breach
  • misinformation
  • social media platforms
  • user engagement
  • privacy settings
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • screen time
  • virtual relationships
  • infodemic
  • echo chamber
What to do next:
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