IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#results #surveys #african #country #teenagers #phones #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
The illustrated pie chart describes the main reasons
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
phone
usage
 among teenagers in
four
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
year
Correct your spelling
four-year
show examples
 period between 2016 to 2019 in an African country.
To begin
 with, in 2016 social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 was leading
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
usage
 at 50% reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
phone
usage
, next to email at 25% and digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 and
phone
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 with th remaining in the remaining 25%. The trend shifted to
usage
 in
phone
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 in 2017 by 3%. In the next two
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 email reduced to only 19% with
phone
Add an article
a phone
show examples
call
Change the form of the verb
calls
show examples
 at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
only 5% next to it at the lowest in
phone
usage
,
on the other
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 a
consistant
Correct your spelling
consistent
constant
 rise is observed in social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and
digitak
Correct your spelling
digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 reaching a peak at 56% and 20% in
phone
usage
 in 2019.
Overall
, a trend shift is observed in the
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
usage
 of
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
, social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
 and digital
camera
Fix the agreement mistake
cameras
show examples
 ended up being the biggest reason in
these
Change the determiner
this four year period
these four year periods
show examples
four year
Add a hyphen
four-year
show examples
 period.
However
,
phone
 calls are
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
the least reason to use
phone
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
.
Submitted by nick on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words phone, usage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noticeable shift
  • communication preferences
  • considerably declined
  • functionalities
  • reflecting global trends
  • emerging trend
  • educational use of technology
  • diversification
  • traditional communication
  • digital forms of communication
  • instant messaging
What to do next:
Look at other essays: