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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population of four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph gives information about the percentage of the population of four different Asian countries living in cities between 1970 and 2020 with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of
people
Use synonyms
 who live in four certain
countries
Use synonyms
 in Asia living in
cities
Use synonyms
, over a 30-year period, starting from 1970 and with additional predictions for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that all
countries
Use synonyms
 experienced an upward trend, witnessing Malaysia with the highest dramatic rise. What
also
Linking Words
 stands out from the chart is that Malaysia recorded the greatest number of
people
Use synonyms
 who lived in
cities
Use synonyms
 for almost the entire period
except
Add the preposition
except for
show examples
 the years 1970 and 1990 when
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 held the top spot. Among all these
countries
Use synonyms
, in first place was
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, with just over 30% of the population living in
cities
Use synonyms
, compared to the number of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
metropolis
Correct article usage
the metropolis
show examples
 area in Malaysia by 2%.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by Thailand and Indonesia, with respective figures being around 20% and 14%.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, the rate of the population who chose
cities
Use synonyms
 to live
increased
Change preposition
in increased
show examples
 rapidly to approximately 75% in 2020 and
expect
Wrong verb form
is expected
show examples
 to grow up to 80% in 2040.
Similarly
Linking Words
, a noticeable rise was observed in the share of
people
Use synonyms
 living in
cities
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia, growing dramatically by 46%. Thailand and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 followed a similar trend, but less pronounced, with its figure rising sharply by around 10% for the same data of 2 remaining
countries
Use synonyms
 and forecasted to hit a peak of around 50% and 53% in turn.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, countries, cities with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • cities
  • Asian countries
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • estimations
  • urban
  • increasing
  • steadily
  • Japan
  • China
  • rise
  • urbanization
  • South Korea
  • India
  • upward trend
  • slow pace
  • surpass
  • resided
  • projected
  • moderate increase
  • significant surge
  • exceed
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