IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Topic: The increase in the production of consumer goods results in damage to the natural environment. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#topic #production #consumer #goods #results #damage #environment
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The
damaging
Replace the word
damage
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 from
escalate
Change the verb form
escalating
show examples
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of consumer
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
. There are some causes
those
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 of
exploration
Use synonyms
 wood in the
forest
Use synonyms
 and building
industry
Use synonyms
 of mine in the
areas
Use synonyms
 to support the economy of the country. First of all
exploration
Use synonyms
wood
Change preposition
of wood
show examples
 in the
forest
Use synonyms
 ones of address in some countries because most
people
Use synonyms
 do to get some
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
 illegal
loging
Correct your spelling
logging
 and deforestation
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happen in
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
areas
Use synonyms
.
Therofore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, some
biodevirsity
Correct your spelling
biodiversity
 will be extinct because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 are destroying
Use synonyms
Add an article
the forest
show examples
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
.
Besides
Linking Words
,
building
Correct article usage
the building
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
Add a missing verb
is ones
show examples
ones
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 of
Add an article
the problem
a problem
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 right now.
Although
Linking Words
 the
goverment encrease
Correct your spelling
government increased
 the economy to
built
Wrong verb form
build
show examples
 some
indutsry
Correct your spelling
industries
, most of
biodiversity
Add an article
the biodiversity
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 extinct because of
Use synonyms
exploration
Correct article usage
the exploration
show examples
Use synonyms
Change preposition
of forest
show examples
forest
Fix the agreement mistake
forests
show examples
 to change area
industry
Use synonyms
,
for instance
Linking Words
, Antam And Freeport are big companies built in
indonesia
Change the capitalization
Indonesia
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
supproting
Correct your spelling
support
 the economy but the problem is there many extinct
diversity
Replace the word
diverse
show examples
 in the places.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
damaging
Correct word choice
it damages
show examples
 of natural
environment
Use synonyms
. There are some
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
 to
takle
Correct your spelling
tackle
take
 that causes. The first one is the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 to give
panushment
Correct your spelling
punishment
 if
people
Use synonyms
 or companies are doing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegal
loging
Correct your spelling
logging
. so that they will be afraid to do that.
As a result
Linking Words
, it declined
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 damage the natural
environment
Use synonyms
. The second one is the company must do
rehabalitation
Correct your spelling
rehabilitation
 after they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
Use synonyms
exploration
Replace the word
explored
show examples
 some
are
Wrong verb form
industries
show examples
industry
Use synonyms
,
for example
Linking Words
 making planting of trees to overcome extinct wood,
then
Linking Words
 the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 can control every
companies
Change to a singular noun
company
show examples
 if they do not do that they get
finalty
Correct your spelling
finally
finality
.
Therofore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, the ecology will
safe
Replace the word
save
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 area after they
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 that.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there
Add a missing verb
are same
show examples
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 cases
damage
Change preposition
of damage
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 like illegal
loging
Correct your spelling
logging
 and
buillding
Correct your spelling
building
industry
Use synonyms
areas
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, to overcome
this
Linking Words
 problem the government
make
Wrong verb form
made
show examples
 a regulation to decline
exploration
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
forest
Use synonyms
, and the company
need
Wrong verb form
needed
show examples
 to do rehabilitation after they used the
areas
Use synonyms
. I recommend most
people
Use synonyms
 must understand
effect
Correct article usage
the effect
show examples
damage
Change preposition
of damage
show examples
inveronment
Correct your spelling
environment
 if they do
deferestation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
such
Linking Words
 as blood and
another problems
Replace the adjective
another problem
other problems
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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coherence cohesion
To improve your coherence and cohesion, ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure with well-organized paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, introduced by a topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences and examples.
task achievement
Enhance your task response by elaborating on your arguments and providing more specific examples. This can help to illustrate your points more clearly and make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Your essay presents a complete response to the prompt by identifying causes and offering solutions to address the problem of environmental damage from increased production of consumer goods.
task achievement
The essay attempts to provide relevant examples, such as illegal logging and the building of industries, to support your points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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