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Band 3

Nowadays many people will stay home to watch a live programme.do you agree or disagree with this statement

#people #home #live #programme
Nowadays, most folks spend their leisure time at
flat
Correct article usage
the flat
show examples
 watching live shows
such
 as sports matches and a concert.Because They can access all
programmes
 on the channel and computer screens.I strongly agree with
this
 statement.
This
 essay will discuss agreement in detail,
along with
 a relevant conclusion. On the one hand,
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
set
Fix the agreement mistake
sets
show examples
 and computers have a crucial role in everyone's life.Because these are providing various
programmes
 through a screen.
For example
,all sports
programmes
 are conducted internationally,so society cannot travel far distances to watch
programmes
.so they spend at
house
Add an article
the house
show examples
 watching sports shows.
On the other hand
,in the modern era,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 involved in social media activities.The computer provides access to Facebook and WhatsApp ,and the population concentrate on chatting with friends.
Moreover
,most youngsters spend
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 with their friends at multiplexes and shopping complexes, recently it has been changed and
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
 are curiously waiting for their favourite shows.
For instance
, previously we could not see any boys
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
room
Add an article
the room
show examples
, especially in the evening moment.Now it has been changed ,the men are physically available at home to watch cricket. In conclusion,in
this
 era,
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
 like to spend their valuable day at home,and they are interested in some videos
Besides
,
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 people can decrease their expenses by avoiding roaming with friends.Through the
programmes
,they can reduce their stress.
The television
Correct article usage
Television
show examples
 and computers have more facilities for entertainment.So I strongly agree with
this
 statement.
Submitted by saniyasunny1848 on

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Task Response
The introduction is clear but could be more engaging and detailed. Provide a brief outline of the main points that will be discussed in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Avoid repetitions and ensure variety in word choices to maintain the reader's interest. For instance, instead of repeatedly saying 'watching live shows,' use synonyms or rephrase the idea.
Task Response
Strengthen the supporting examples by being more specific. For example, when mentioning social media activities, specify how this impacts the preference for watching live programs at home.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the logical flow between paragraphs to ensure a smooth transition of ideas. Use linking words such as 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'Additionally' to connect ideas effectively.
Task Response
Conclude by summarizing the main points effectively and restating your position. A strong conclusion reinforces the reader's understanding of your viewpoint.
Task Response
The essay presents a clear stance on the topic, which is maintained throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Task Response
There is an effort to provide relevant examples, which helps in supporting the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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