Putting criminals into prisons is not an effective way to deal with them. Instead, education and job training should be offered. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is clear that

Linking Words

being

Verb problem

bringing

show examples

criminals

Use synonyms

into

prison

Use synonyms

is not the best way to understand their mistakes. Some people claim that the government should provide places for education

as well as

Linking Words

job training to learn a lot of skills for finding

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

career. I will explain

this

Linking Words

idea and give my own opinion in

further

Linking Words

paragraphs

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

Linking Words

To begin

Linking Words

with , all of us know that

prision

Correct your spelling

prison

is not a suitable place to

putting

Change the form of the verb

put

show examples

criminals

Use synonyms

. Since inmates learn about new and innovative methods of criminal conduct

while

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

they are serving their

prison

Use synonyms

term.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, if they

become

Verb problem

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

, they can help their family members .

Hence

Linking Words

, their families

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not any

supporter

Replace the word

support

show examples

for their lives.

In addition

Linking Words

, they can not work and gain

money

Use synonyms

Thus

Linking Words

, their children

have

Add a missing verb

do have

show examples

not

Use synonyms

money

Correct determiner usage

enough money

show examples

to continue their lives.

As a consequence

Linking Words

, they may

Verb problem

commit

show examples

crimes and repeat the cycle of

criminals

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society. So , in my

opinion

Add a comma

opinion,

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

has a negative

affect

Correct your spelling

effect

show examples

on society's health.

Linking Words

According

Change preposition

Regarding

show examples

prison

Use synonyms

's problems , I agree to create some facilities for job training and

make

Verb problem

create

show examples

an opportunity situation for

criminals

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, governments should teach them

according to

Linking Words

their abilities and expand to find a good job

for earning

Change preposition

to earn

show examples

money

Use synonyms

.In the meantime, On the one hand , they become conscious and

on the other hand

Linking Words

, they can gain

money

Use synonyms

and have a comfortable life.

Hence

Linking Words

, they do not any crimes. To explain

Linking Words

furthermore

Capitalize word

Furthermore

show examples

, there are many people that

develope

Correct your spelling

develop

some places for

criminals

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

charity. In

this

Linking Words

place , a manager

find

Change the verb form

finds

show examples

these

criminals

Use synonyms

and

berings

Correct your spelling

bring

brings

them together.

Then

Linking Words

, detect their talents and provide special facilities for them to learn advanced works. So , they explore their own skills and use

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

a positive direction.

To sum up

Linking Words

prison

Use synonyms

can not be a perfect place for every criminal

due to

Linking Words

Correct article usage

the lose

show examples

lose

Replace the word

loss

show examples

their

Change preposition

of their

show examples

opportunities. It is my notion that they can be beneficial for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

as well as

Linking Words

their own families by

learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

something

according to

Linking Words

their abilities.

rastaebrahimifarSun Jun 16 2024

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clarity

Improve the clarity of your arguments. In some parts, the ideas are a bit vague or not well-articulated. For example, when mentioning the alternative options for criminals, be more specific about how they lead to positive outcomes.

grammar

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure. There are several sentences that could be made clearer and more concise. Pay attention to articles, prepositions, and subject-verb agreements.

structure

Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. Some paragraphs lack focus, making it harder to follow your argument. Stick to one main idea per paragraph and elaborate on it thoroughly.

task response

The essay addresses the topic and provides a clear opinion.

task response

Good attempt to provide reasons and examples to support your argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, making the essay easier to follow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

19
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
30
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

350 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recidivism
reintegration
rehabilitation
punitive measures
mindset
behavioral change
workforce preparation
prospects
reoffending
employment opportunities
socioeconomic
low-risk offenders
serious offenders
balance
productive members of society
economic burden
public safety
offender rehabilitation
transformative programs

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