Some people believe that the biggest problem facing cities is the increasing number of cars. Others say there more serious problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is undeniable that as
cities
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has got
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have
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developed and progressed, their major issues have increased. It is argued that the main problem is an increase in figure of vehicles;
however
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, others believe there are many other subjects which are as controversial issues in urban areas.
This
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essay will discuss both views and
then
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I will reveal my orientation towards it. The developing
cities
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have faced numerous
challenges
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which
requires
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require
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efforts from authorities and locals. Some of these
challenges
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are associated with each other and they play
as
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apply
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a
cause and effect
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cause-and-effect
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role.
For example
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, developing
cities
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leads
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lead
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population
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to population
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growth.
Therefore
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, city dwellers require
the
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apply
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residential areas,
entertaining
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entertainment
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space
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spaces
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and other infrastructure,
such
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as
park
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parks
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, schools, libraries, and transportation systems.
Moreover
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, accommodating
huge
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a huge
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population to
cities
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’ capacities is a challenging issue. All in all, the aforementioned could deprive the
citizens’
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citizens
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comfort
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of comfort
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and decrease the amount of welfare .
On the other hand
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,
in addition
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to the mentioned
challenges
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, the most significant one would be a rise in
automobiles’
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automobiles
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numbers because they cause a plethora of issues which directly
effect
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affect
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on
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apply
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health
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,
such
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as air pollution. It is universally acknowledged that vehicles are the major reason for air pollution which leads to a myriad of diseases,
such
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as Asthma.
In addition
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, not only physical
health
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,
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apply
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but
also
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mental one is affected
due to
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the severe traffic congestion
is
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apply
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created by numerous cars on the road. Sticking in
traffic
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a traffic
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jam could harm
mentally
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them mentally
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.
For instance
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, scientific research in China illustrates that staying in
the
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a
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traffic jam causes anxiety and
nerve
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nerves
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in the long run. In conclusion, numerous
challenges
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are in various
cities
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which could certainly influence locals’
health
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and welfare. From my point of view, the
challenges
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which
leads
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lead
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to harming
health
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are the most crucial one which needs to
tackle
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be tackled
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urgently.
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task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, but the clarity can be improved. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main point and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
There are some grammatical issues and awkward phrases that make it hard to follow your arguments at times. Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are satisfactory, but the conclusion could restate the main points more effectively for better cohesion.
task achievement
You have a clear understanding of the task and you address both views as required.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supported main points
You have used relevant examples to support your points, such as citing research from China.
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