The diagram below shows the production of a lead pencil.

The diagram below depicts the process by which a lead pencil is manufactured.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is evident that there are 12 main steps in producing a number of lead pencils. Beginning with planting trees, and ending with packaging the completed products. In the initial phase of the process, seeds are sown in the ground in a particular area and replanted after becoming small trees in 4 months. These trees are thinned in the next 3 years and it took at least 14 years to cut and chop them into several small logs, which are transported to various factories later. In the second phase of the process, the workers use a specialised machine to chop the logs into many thin slats.

Next,

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these slats are treated to be dried and eliminated completely in nearly 2 months before their surface is inscribed with some grooves on for black leads which are fixed by glue. After being covered with new slats, the employees make them more solid by using heat and pressure-generating equipment and

then

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cutting them into many sticks. In the final stage, the pencils are packaged after being painted, sharpened and stamped.

phamnhung275

Jun 16, 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

191 words

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The diagram below shows the production of a lead pencil.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? (Ulvi)

Many teenagers now have their own smart phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this and give your own opinion.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think is a positive or negative development?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?