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Band 4.5

Some people think robots are very important to humans' future development while others think they are dangerous and have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #robots #humans #future #development #effects #society
Nowadays, technology is evolving extremely fast, and
robots
 are equipment that have been developing.
In addition
, some
people
 believe
robots
 will be really crucial devices, but other groups of
people
 have negative thinks so that ,
they
Correct word choice
so they
show examples
 believe these tools are really dangerous and have a lot of drawbacks. In my opinion, the second theory is the best thing because when the
robots
 and Al do our work,
then
 we cannot handle it. On the one hand, some global inhabitants like
robots
 developing for some reason.
Firstly
, the
robots
 can do our housework so faster without any high price.
For example
, now most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 use vacuum
robots
 for cleaning their houses, and these
robots
 have our home plane
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
 clean it very
good
Change the word
well
show examples
.
Secondly
, when the
robots
 are improving,
so
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
won not
Correct your spelling
won't
 spend a lot of time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying, cooking, and driving.
On the other hand
, other groups of
people
 worry about the effects of
robots
 in all aspects of our
lives
. if we live with
robots
,
then
 they do not need to go out to buy things.
Therefore
, our social relationships and physical activities declined
then
,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
 number of
people
 who have several illnesses increased.
Also
, the
robots
 and AL technology will be compared to gather.
As a result
, these kinds of
robots
 will be able to control our
lives
, for they know everything more than other humans and they think they will best govern
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the Earth. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robots
 have some benefits for our
lives
 and can
getting
Verb problem
make
show examples
 our
lives
 better.
Although
, the demerits can cover the advantages.
Hence
 I accept a second opinion.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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General
Improve sentence structure to avoid grammatical errors and ensure clarity.
Task Achievement
Expand on the reasons supporting both views to provide a more balanced and comprehensive response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of the essay.
Task Achievement
Include more detailed examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Revise the conclusion to clearly summarize the main points discussed.
Task Achievement
The essay presents both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, ensuring the essay is well-structured.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • efficiency
  • productivity
  • hazardous environments
  • personalized learning
  • job displacement
  • economic inequality
  • social unrest
  • privacy concerns
  • surveillance capabilities
  • malfunction
  • reliance
  • technical failures
  • human skills
What to do next:
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