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Band 5

More and more students are choosing to study at colleges and universities in foreign countrys. Do the benefits of studying abroad outweighs the drawbacks?

#students #study #colleges #universities #countrys
Education is said to be the major tool to improve human behaviour and in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent
time
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times
show examples
, many
students
 are opting for admission
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 higher institutions
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 outside of their
nation
 of residence.
This
 essay will discuss not only its advantages but
also
 to show that the demerits
is
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are
show examples
 not at all important to think
off
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of
show examples
. The first advantage is exposure to
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
show examples
modern
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the modern
a modern
show examples
way
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ways
show examples
 of solving
national
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the national
a national
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
. Studying in another
nation
open
Correct subject-verb agreement
opens
show examples
 up
students
 to a more
experiental
Correct your spelling
experimental
experiential
 approach to a national
problem
 which has defile
solution
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solutions
show examples
 of
expert
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experts
show examples
 in the country,
students
 who study in
such
field
Correct article usage
a field
show examples
 in a
nation
 where they are more experienced and have been known for their success in
such
 field can be fixed to solve
such
problem
 by the time they return to their
nation
 after completion of their academic year.
For example
, The
nation
 of Zimbabwe sent some young
graduate
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graduates
show examples
 in agriculture to Nigeria for a postgraduate program in agriculture that
focus
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
 on palm kernel planting for the production of palm oil and
30years
Correct your spelling
30 years
 later, they became the world exporter of palm oil. The second merit is
improvement
Add an article
the improvement
an improvement
show examples
 of international
relationship
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relationships
show examples
. Many nations are experiencing smooth cross business
idea
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ideas
show examples
 because of the educational exchange
program
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programs
show examples
 that they enter into.
This
 friendship
ochestrated
Correct your spelling
orchestrated
 shared
solution
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solutions
show examples
on
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to
show examples
 national issues.
For example
, ECOWAS which is an organization of
Africa
Replace the word
African
show examples
 nations was established many years ago by
students
 during one of their joint
conference
Change to a plural noun
conferences
show examples
eventhough
Correct your spelling
even though
 terrorism
cript
Correct your spelling
script
crept
 into many territories in
this
 tie. In conclusion,
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
 approach and international friendship are two main
merit
Change to a plural noun
merits
show examples
 of studying abroad,
although
 insecurity is a major demerit
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, the positive profit that
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 from
these arrangement
Change the determiner
this arrangement
these arrangements
show examples
 far
outweigh
Correct subject-verb agreement
outweighs
show examples
 the negative side effect.
Submitted by tunjosh2 on

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task response
Clarify and expand on main points. Some arguments and examples need more elaboration to be fully compelling.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and spelling. There are some inaccuracies that could be distracting to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are clear and well structured.
task response
You provided relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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