IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the builing industry. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram illustrates the process that is used to manufacture bricks for the builing industry. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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Overall
Linking Words
, the digger will dig the
clay
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it will be put in the metal grid for rolling it.
Then
Linking Words
, it will be mixed with the sand and water in the wire cutter or a mould to turn into a
brick
Use synonyms
. After that, the
brick
Use synonyms
 was
then
Linking Words
 put into the drying oven.
Then
Linking Words
, the
brick
Use synonyms
 is put in the
kiln
Use synonyms
 and the cooling chamber after put in the
kiln
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
brick
Use synonyms
 is packaged and ready for delivery.
First,
Linking Words
the digger digs a large amount of
clay
Use synonyms
.
Second,
Linking Words
the
clay
Use synonyms
 will be put in the metal grid for rolling.
Third,
Linking Words
the
clay
Use synonyms
 will be mixed with the sand and the water,
then
Linking Words
 it will be put in the wire or the mould for turning into the
bricks
Use synonyms
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are put into the drying oven for 24 to 48 hours.
Next,
Linking Words
the
bricks
Use synonyms
 will
then
Linking Words
 be put in the
kiln
Use synonyms
 for moderating
for
Change preposition
from
show examples
 200
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 to 980
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and put in the
kiln
Use synonyms
 again for 870
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
 to 1300
Use synonyms
celsius
Capitalize word
Celsius
show examples
.
Then
Linking Words
, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are put in the cooling chamber for 48 to 72 hours after it is put in the
kiln
Use synonyms
.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
bricks
Use synonyms
 are packaged, and it is readied for delivery.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words clay, brick, kiln, bricks, celsius with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacture
  • brick(s)
  • building industry
  • digging
  • extraction
  • raw material
  • clay
  • mixing
  • moulding
  • wire cutting
  • drying oven
  • firing
  • kiln
  • high temperatures
  • hardening
  • cooling
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • traditional
  • modern
  • environmental considerations
  • sustainability practices
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