Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Governments must invest money in railways
instead
of roads
. I totally agree with this
statement and will show that rail are
more environmentally friendly, Change the verb form
is
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
reduce
carbon emissions as compared to Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
roads
and facilitates much
transportation with less contamination.
Correct quantifier usage
apply
Firstly
, on the one
hand, railroad
are more environmentally friendly as compared to using the Fix the agreement mistake
railroads
roads
. It should be noted that rail are
a good form of preserving Change the verb form
is
people
's lives. There are so many accidents that occur in
Change preposition
on
roads
. Further
, there is a reduction of carbon dioxide emissions to avoid air dirting. The fumes that come out from trains
are less as compared to the ones coming from cars
, buses
and tractors. In Ruanda, ever since the introduction of trains
instead
of buses
and cars
, there has been a decline in complaints concerning air pollution, accidents and deaths from roads
. Thus
, it should be noted that railroad
Correct article usage
the railroad
are
the best solution Change the verb form
is
instead
of the road.
Secondly
, mass transportation is facilitated using less fouling. The trains
as huge as they are, carry hundreds of people
to different locations at one
goal. These operate at a fixed time. Moreso, they are liable,
and dependable. Remove the comma
apply
On the other hand
, modes of transport are smaller and can accommodate between one
to 50 people
, depending on how big the bus is. Thus
, it can be noted that when comparing trains
to buses
, cars
and bicycles, trains
accommodate a large number of people
. Thus
, mass transportation is seen on rails rather than the roads
.
In conclusion, authorities need to spend funds on railways
rather than roads
as rails are more convenient, more
there is Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
reduction of emissions from carbon. Correct article usage
a
In addition
, the facilitation of transport is in abundance as trains
can hundreds of people
in one
trip as compared to buses
and cars
Submitted by pncubeterera on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the issue and provides relevant arguments to support it. However, consider bolstering each argument with more specific and detailed examples. For instance, you could compare the carbon emissions of different transportation modes in more detail or provide specific statistics on rail efficiency.
coherence cohesion
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that can be improved. For example, phrases like "rail are" would be more accurately written as "rail is" or "railways are." Also, the word "more" at the beginning of the conclusion seems to be a typographical error or misplaced, consider revising: "authorities need to spend funds on railways rather than roads as rail is more convenient, reducing carbon emissions."
introduction conclusion present
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively presents and wraps up your argument.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong. Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, making your argument easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.