You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

In
this
world right now, the amount of
crime
is increasing in many countries.
Todays
Fix the agreement mistake
Today
show examples
,
people
not
Add a missing verb
do not
show examples
worry about the
crime
that they have done, all they care about are about themself. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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a lot of
crimes
, but the most
Correct word choice
common crimes
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crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
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have done
Verb problem
apply
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is robbery. Many
people
robbed
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are robbed
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because they don'
t
have
money
for
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on
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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own, so they
robbed
Add a missing verb
are robbed
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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survive
Change the verb form
surviving
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in
Change preposition
apply
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their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
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. Not only rob,
people
Add the word(s)
but people also
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fraud other
people
for getting
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to get
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money
and don'
t
care about the
consecuences
Correct your spelling
consequences
. The reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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crimes
is
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are
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increasing, because
this
day the economy in the world
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is decreassing
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decreassing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
,
poor
Correct article usage
the poor
show examples
people
increasing, homeless increasing,
people
who don'
t
have
job
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jobs
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increasing. So, they
done
Add the auxiliary verb
did
have done
show examples
this
Change the determiner
this crime
these crimes
show examples
crimes
for
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to
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survive their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
. In my country poor
people
spread
along
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apply
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across the street,
people
Correct word choice
and people
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who don'
t
have
job
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jobs
show examples
increasing. Because
,
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apply
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the average in my country
are
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is
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under than what
people
needs
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need
show examples
. The government do a lot of corruption, they don'
t
care for their
peoples
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people
show examples
. Because of
this
,
peoples
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people
show examples
do
Verb problem
commit
show examples
crimes
day by day because the income of their salary
not
Add a missing verb
is not
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enough for what they
needs
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need
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. But,
crime
is still a
crime
, we do not allow that to
happens
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happen
show examples
. We can deal with those
crimes
by more aware
from
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apply
show examples
around us, by
help
Change the form of the verb
helping
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them
Correct pronoun usage
those
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who
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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needs
Correct pronoun usage
needs them
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,
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can
give
Wrong verb form
giving
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them attention by giving
enough
Correct pronoun usage
them enough
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money
, give them education about
crimes
should not be done
Verb problem
,
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no matter how
worst
Correct word choice
bad
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their
economy
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economic
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condition and the consequences
from
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of
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crimes
. There are a lot of
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
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earn
money
if we work harder. Nowadays,
crime
is increasing because
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
found
Wrong verb form
find
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out they do not have enough
money
for their needs, so they
robbed
Wrong verb form
rob
show examples
and fraud to earn
money
, but we must not allow that to
happens
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
, we just need
work
Fix the infinitive
to work
show examples
harder to earn more
money
. Every
crimes
Change to a singular noun
crime
show examples
must
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
appropiate
Correct your spelling
appropriate
consequences!
Submitted by kelly on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure overall, but the ideas need to be organized more logically. Consider creating paragraphs for each main point and sub-point to improve readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have covered the main points about causes and solutions to crime but providing more specific examples and statistics would strengthen your arguments. Try to support your points with relevant and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Some of the sentences are unclear and contain grammatical errors. Try to proofread your essay or use grammar-check tools to correct them. Improving the clarity and accuracy of your sentences will help convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay lacks some advanced vocabulary and varied sentence structures. To achieve a higher score, aim to incorporate more complex sentences and a wider range of vocabulary.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a complete response to the prompt.
task achievement
You have identified some key causes and possible solutions to crime, showing understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your essay reflects a genuine attempt to address a significant social issue, which is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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