in many contries, the number of animals and plants is declining. why do you think this is happening? how can this issue be solved?
Nowaday
, the rate of flora and fauna are decreasing Correct your spelling
Nowadays
due to
a lot
of problems
, so i
think that it Change the capitalization
I
is
originated from old Unnecessary verb
apply
vehicle
and petrochemical Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
factoy
. there are several ways to address Correct your spelling
factors
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
problems
.
To begin
with, many countries thay
will be faced with reducing the number of animals and plants. because Correct your spelling
they
in
many Change preposition
apply
state
do not have stricter Change to a plural noun
states
law
and Fix the agreement mistake
laws
masure
for using old Correct your spelling
measures
vehical
. so , Correct your spelling
vehicles
people
do not pay attention to check
Wrong verb form
checking
thier
Correct your spelling
their
car
comprehensively or they Fix the agreement mistake
cars
Add a missing verb
have uesd
uesd
old Correct your spelling
used
vehicle
for Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
long
time. Change the article
a long
therefore
, This
old vehicle
produced a lot
of pollutions
during Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
a
day which can have direct effects on Correct article usage
the
air
pollutin
Correct your spelling
pollution
then
in the long trem
may Correct your spelling
term
destroyed
Wrong verb form
destroy
ozon
layer. Correct your spelling
ozone
another
noticeable Replace the adjective
other
problems
come from petrochemical factories
. in other words
, many factories
do not value to
Change preposition
apply
air
so, just foucs
on increasing the amount of product in any situation, because they believe that lubricating the wheels of Correct your spelling
focus
industry
is important.
Add an article
the industry
however
, old car and petrochemical factories
can have negetive
effects on animals and plants. there are several ways to Correct your spelling
negative
solved
Wrong verb form
solve
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
problems
. first and formest
, the main Correct your spelling
foremost
responseble
goes for the Correct your spelling
responsibility
govrments
. Correct your spelling
governments
government
in other words
, government
can Add an article
the government
put
strict Verb problem
pass
law
for Fix the agreement mistake
laws
people
who utiliz
old Correct your spelling
use
vehicle
. for the first time using fines for Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
people
do
not pay attention to Correct pronoun usage
who do
thier
old Correct your spelling
their
vehicle
. then
If they do it again putting in the solitray
cell can be answered. Correct your spelling
solitary
another things
, Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
government
can have a Add an article
the government
lot
of offers for society who like to replace thier
old Correct your spelling
their
vehicle
with Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
brand
new Add an article
the brand
a brand
electrical
Correct word choice
electric
car
. not paying taxes can be the best way to encourage Fix the agreement mistake
cars
people
to change their can. secondly
, petrochemical factories
can make
a Verb problem
cause
lot
of pollution in the air
by using fossil fule
Correct your spelling
fuels
for producing
energy during Change preposition
to produce
a
day. so , governments can put big fines Correct article usage
the
to
Change preposition
on
factories
if they used
Wrong verb form
use
such
fule
. on Correct your spelling
fuel
other
hand, if Correct article usage
the other
factories
tendency
to utilize Replace the word
tend
renewble
Correct your spelling
renewable
fule
, Correct your spelling
fuel
Correct article usage
the governmet
governmet
consider financial aid.
in conclusion, these daysCorrect your spelling
government
governments
unfortunately
the number of animals and plants Add the comma(s)
, unfortunately,
decresed
Correct your spelling
decreased
duo
to Correct your spelling
due
air
polliution
which Correct your spelling
pollution
is
originated Unnecessary verb
apply
form
old Correct your spelling
from
vehicle
and petrochemical Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
factories
.Submitted by salehmiri1995 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have addressed the task and provided some ideas related to the reasons for the decline in plants and animals and possible solutions. However, the ideas could be more clearly expressed and better supported with specific examples and evidence.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure with an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother, and some sentences could be more clearly connected to improve the overall flow.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more detailed and relevant examples. For instance, mention specific countries or cities successfully implementing policies to reduce pollution from old vehicles and factories.
clear comprehensive ideas
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to make your ideas clearer and more comprehensible. For example, avoid long and complex sentences that can confuse the reader.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay has an introduction and conclusion, which helps give it a clear structure.
supported main points
You have identified relevant issues (old vehicles and petrochemical factories) and suggested logical solutions (government regulations and incentives).