it is more important for school children to learn about their local history than the world history. Do you agree or disagree?
In
this
day and age, history
has been
a subject Wrong verb form
is
Change preposition
in
among
most schools worldwide. There is a heated controversy about whether Change preposition
in
students
’ national history
weighs more than global history
or not. From my perspective, I do not support any of them, putting forward that these two types of history
are of equal significance.
It is indisputable that local history
is vital for youths to have a better understanding of their culture. As culture derives and evolves with history
, by learning the historical events happening Change preposition
to
on
their ancestors, they can definitely have a superior understanding of the root of their culture, which can augment their cultural identity Change preposition
to
as well as
ethnic pride, contributing to social cohesion. What is more, they can reckon the barricades on the way of their countries’ development, motivating them to cherish the present and strive for a brighter future. For example
, Change preposition
by understanding
understanding
the trauma brought Change preposition
by understanding
Change preposition
about by
by
Change preposition
about by
Second
World War, European teenagers can foster Correct article usage
the Second
Correct pronoun usage
apply
them
the concept of peace and prevent destructive war Correct pronoun usage
apply
Change preposition
from occurring
occurring
again.
Change preposition
from occurring
However
, it doesn’t automatically mean that the importance of global history
can be disparaged. To begin
with, for some historical events, different countries recorded them in separate ways, providing students
with more details, so they can have a more objective view on the developments of humanity. Also
, there was a considerable gap between the routes of different countries’ developments. Students
could compare what happened across different countries in the meantime through the expertise in this
syllabus, training them to discover the merits and drawbacks of their development methods. They are thus
encouraged to think critically rather than following the description Change preposition
in
on
their textbooks discriminately, which is an essential ability in their future lives.
In a nutshell, learning domestic Change preposition
in
history
can nurture the students
Correct article usage
apply
a
sense of belonging and social cohesion Correct article usage
apply
while
acquiring the knowledge of world history
can boost the thoughts of critical thinking. These two courses are crucial to the same level for students
.Submitted by christianwang on
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coherence cohesion
Clarify and simplify some of the complex sentence structures for easier readability. This will enhance overall comprehension and make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly between paragraphs. This will improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While the example of the Second World War is relevant, additional specific instances can make your points stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph stays focused on a single main idea to maintain clarity and cohesion throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a good structure for the reader.
task achievement
The discussion is balanced, presenting both the importance of local history and global history effectively.
task achievement
The use of sophisticated vocabulary and varied sentence structures shows a strong command of the English language.
task achievement
The example given (Second World War) is relevant and effectively supports the point about the importance of local history.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.