IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

International travel is becoming cheaper, and more and more countries open their door and with more and more tourists. Do the advantages of increased tourism outweigh its disadvantages?

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These days, the number of travellers is increasing for some reason some international trips have low costs, and more countries accept
tourists
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than past.
while
Linking Words
 there are some drawbacks of international travel, I still believe that these cannot overshadow the benefits. On the one hand, international
tourists
Use synonyms
 have some merits.
Firstly
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, if countries have a professional tourism industry,
then
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 they are raising profit, so the economy of these countries
are
Change the verb form
is
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 getting better.
For example
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, Dubai does not have any factories, or manufacturing
instead
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 facilities related to oil, yet it has a lot of
tourists
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 so it has
a
Correct article usage
apply
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good malls, entertainment equipment, safety, and sea.
Also
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 industry has more income than selling oil.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if the
tourists
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 are growing up in one country, it opens job positions for natives.
In other words
Linking Words
, when
people
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 journey to other districts, they need hotels, taxis, tour guides, and restaurants.
Therefore
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, these occupations are calming after that, most inhabitants have work.
On the other hand
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, the bad points of International travel are various. if travellers are increasing in one country, it is an important factor in destroying the environment. To illustrate,
this
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 is the best symbol because most
people
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 travel to the time, so the origins
people
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 build a lot of hotels, restaurants, and clubs on the beach.
In addition
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, these works injure animals and the ecosystem. if your country is safe,
then
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people
Use synonyms
 have tripe in your area, and they must not worry about safety.
As a result
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, the government have to pay a lot of money for these things. In conclusion, It appears to me that the demerits of tourism cannot eclipse the good points.
However
Linking Words
, the environment will be destroyed by our behaviour.

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coherence cohesion
Clarify your introduction. Clearly state the main points you will discuss in the essay. This helps in better understanding from the reader's perspective.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main point and is well-developed with supporting details.
task achievement
Be sure to fully develop your examples and link them explicitly to your arguments. This will help in supporting your main points better.
task achievement
You have made a clear attempt to present both sides of the argument, acknowledging both the advantages and disadvantages of increased tourism.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint on the issue, emphasizing the positive aspects that outweigh the negative.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • International travel
  • Economic boon
  • Cultural exchange
  • Infrastructure
  • Overcrowding
  • Environmental degradation
  • Cultural dilution
  • Economic dependency
  • Sustainable tourism
  • Revenue generation
  • Commercialization
  • Globalization
  • Preservation
  • Ecotourism
  • Quality of life
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